Like the yoghurt, this is our second posting for Labneh and also like the yoghurt this uses a simpler Valentine Warner-inspired process.
Labneh – strained yoghurt
Like the yoghurt, this is our second posting for Labneh and also like the yoghurt this uses a simpler Valentine Warner-inspired process.
Labneh – strained yoghurt
It was way back in May 2009 when we first wrote a post on homemade yoghurt – that was 218 miles, 4 houses, 2 floods and one small child ago. I am ashamed to say the whole knit-your-own yoghurt thing was a short lived fad due no doubt to this early technique requiring thermometers, sterilised jars, a Bunsen burner and if memory serves me, a Van de Graaff generator. Fortunately Yoghurt #2 is a much more straightforward and nonchalant affair needing little more in the way of specialist equipment than a simple timing device and a wooden spoon. Also, being a recipe from Valentine Warner, it has the welcome addition of cream for extra, well creaminess.
There are as many varieties of flat breads as there are varieties of Heinz products, or indeed bi-pedal humanoid aliens living amongst us – 57*. I can’t vouch for all of them, but this particular variant is tried, tested, easy to make, and very tasty.
We laced ours with cumin although you could of course flavour yours with whatever spice takes your fancy or indeed leave plain.
*Facts true at time of publishing.
Don’t forget, tonight, 20:00, BBC1, Celebrity Masterchef. While you’re waiting why not revisit this touching Masterchef photolove story.
If you would like to keep a fidgety child amused for an hour AND at the end of it have something tasty to dunk in your tea, this could well be the recipe for you. If you don’t have a child of your own don’t worry, you could always rent one … we hire ours out for £20 an hour (one change of clothes included).
Such is the fast turnaround of this post I still have a piece of samphire lodged between my teeth and a prawn juice stain on my t-shirt.
Prawns with samphire
Sun turns to grey, grey turns to wet and wet heralds the first flood alert for, ooh days. Time to get nostalgic about those long balmy Yorkshire summer evenings sitting on the white-washed terraza under ancient gnarled trees, their branches heavy with succulent ripe Barm Cakes still warm from the day’s sun. It was on one such evening when we served this delicious, refreshing chilled soup as we watched the golden sunset explode over Knob Bottom Cragg.
Courgette & pea soup with goat’s cheese toasts
How about something unusual and tasty which requires the minimum amount of preparation and no cooking? You’d be a fool not to.
Another recipe from the infallible Polpo Venetian cookbook.
Summer has eventually arrived in the UK. It has even managed to reluctantly drag itself all the way up to Yorkshire where, tripping over Stoodley Pike and tumbling down the hill it collapsed bloody and exhausted in our very own back yard. In fact one afternoon it was so balmy I was able to pop out down to the One Stop Shop wearing only one cardigan under my kagoule.
Summer in these there parts brings with it two inevitables – barbeques and midges. We enjoyed this recipe at the former whilst sitting in an angry cloud of the latter.
BBQ swordfish steaks with chermoula
We here at Yumblog are delighted and honoured to be able to exclusively showcase the first ever photograph of the Royal baby, His Exalted Highness Prince Jayden Kayden Riley Tyler Windsor.
I know, I know, you weren’t even aware cuttlefish had balls. Perhaps they do, perhaps they don’t. For all I know they might ride the ocean currents with their magnificent jewels swinging low and proud beneath them. Perhaps the entire aquatic world stares with slack-jawed envy as they swim by with their pendulous plums dragging along the seabed. Like I said, I don’t know, but whatever our particular cuttlefish’s gonadular architecture you can rest assured they were efficiently and unceremoniously hacked off by the fishmonger.
Now that interesting looking critter below is called a brik and is essentially an egg dropped into the middle of a sheet of filo which is then wrapped up and shallow fried. It comes accompanied by a spicy chickpea curry and a refreshing cucumber and coriander salad. Service not included. Not only is this a dainty dish to set before the King, but is also extremely economical as it comes from the Guardians ‘Recipes for under £5’ feature. And what can you get for a fiver these days? Quite a lot it seems.
Waiting for a post from Yumblog is a lot like waiting for a bus. Nothing for six weeks and then two come along at once. There the similarities end, so hop on board and enjoy the ride. What’s that, you don’t have the correct change? Bugger off and walk then.
Got a dollar to spare? Why not use it to feed a fat American family.
Apologies (again) for the blogging hiatus. We can offer no excuses other than an extended trip outside the country, a redundancy, a three year old who has gone slightly bonkers and the usual plagues of locusts, frogs and boils. Here by way of compensation is a tasty morsel ideal for an extended al fresco (it rhymes with Tesco) weekend lunch.
We started writing yumblog because (like most food bloggers) we wanted to give you dear reader, the opportunity to press your greasy nose against the window of our perfect world and enviously look in slack-jawed and drooling at our incomprehensibly magnificent lives. Yumblog Cottage is a haven of sunlit space, children’s laughter, crisp white linen, freshly cut flowers, beautiful friends uttering witty things you’d never understand and of course food so delicious it shows up the microwaved ready-meal you joylessly serve every evening to be the mechanically recovered calorific slop it is.
You’ll also be privileged to read detailed accounts on EVERY utterance, iterance and bowel movement of Yumblog Junior, our adorable and angelic three-year-old daughter who is of course far in advance of her dullard contempories and is always saying the most adorable and amusing things.
That said our motives are not entirely altruistic as we intend to use this blog as a means of entry to the cosy and elite inner sanctum of the London food blogger, there to be photographed at every dinner party, pop-up restaurant and hidden away ethnic eatery within chattering distance of Broadway Market. From there it is only a short leap of the imagination to a name check in every lazy Guardian article on the rise of the food blogger, a minor publishing deal with a book entitled something along the lines of ‘101 ways to boil an egg‘ followed by the holy grail of every vanity food writer … a brief grinning appearance in a restaurant scene on MasterChef.
Now get your nose off our window and read on.
One of the meatier vegetarian dishes you’ll find here on Yumblog.
If you were to apply the Stanford–Binet Intelligence Test to fruit-based desserts you’d find the Rhubarb fool sits somewhere between the Strawberry Simpleton and the Damson Dunce. Not the brightest confection in the bowl you understand, but possibly one of the tastiest.
Spinach, egg & parmesan pizza is like so yesterday. This is now our Friday evening pizza of choice.
This could possibly be the last comforting soup of the season as summer has finally reached these parts and the Pennines are roasting under 40 degrees of searing Yorkshire sunshine. Evenings are now spent sitting in the dappled shade of Hebden Bridge olive groves, drinking ice-cold Albariño, and listening to the song of the cicadas high up on the parched scrubland of the Tops. From here until September there’ll be an unbroken stretch of relentless heat only occasionally relieved by an aromatic breeze wafting down the A646 from Mytholmroyd.
Such is the toothsomeness of this pizza, it has now become a Friday evening regular here at Yumblog Cottage – along with six hasty after-work Stellas and a punch up* with rival food bloggers in the precinct. The recipe comes from the excellent ‘Polpo – A Venetian cookbook (of Sorts)‘ by Russell Norman. If you want a copy you can buy it here at Waterstones and not here at Amazon.
I like Paul Hollywood, I like beer and I like bread…
As the snow fell on Yumblog Cottage thoughts turned to sledging and comfort food.
Click below for more from the Yumblog mixed tape.
As a rule I tend to avoid drinks with the suffix pis, but this sounded so intriguing I had to give it a try.
Pleasant surprise permeated through the Yumblog household when the first viewing of ‘Paul Hollywood’s Bread’ turned out to be a relatively straightforward cookery programme. There was of course the now obligatory 5 minute introduction guaranteed to elicit shouts of “Get the fuck on with it” plus the adoption of Jamie Oliver’s technique of looking just left of the camera. In Jme’s case this makes him look low spectrum autistic, whilst Paul just looks shifty, as if he’s talking to you but looking at your wife’s tits. But perhaps this is for public health reasons… perhaps Paul’s eyes are so blue and piercing no mere mortal can look directly into them without first retreating behind the safety of a welding mask.
This recipe is from the first episode and has now become the white loaf of choice here at yumblog cottage.
Regular reader(s) will probably be aware that every year at this time we here at Yumblog experience a visitation from the son of God ‘His Royal Highness Jesus H Christ’ in the form of the appearance of his divine fizzog on various household items. Imagine how delighted we were this Easter when the King of Glory deigned to make his Princely presence known through the crayons of our very own Yumblog Junior.
Sometimes I wonder why we bother. We try our best to make this blog an edifying and sophisticated experience, but a glance at our site stats shows that the top three search queries which brought you here today were ‘Soft porn’, ‘Chicken pox’ and ‘Dairylea Lunchables’. You’re a weird and mucky bunch.
Incidentally, anyone browsing for the 12th most popular search query, ‘lawson nigella sex tape’, the link is here.
Now go away and never darken these hallowed portals again.
This recipe does require the use of a pasta maker so you’ll need to have a rummage around in your cupboard of only-used-once things. There it is next to the Ken Hom wok set … to the left of the Jamie Oliver Flava Shaker … and behind everything you ever bought from the Lakeland catalogue.
Look, everyone I have an iPad Mini. In fact as I write this I’m on the morming commute steaming through the Calder Valley aboard the Northern Rail Executive Express. For those of you not in the know, the Northern Rail Executive Express is a sleek luxuriously upholstered silver bullet from the future which flashes silently and smoothly between Leeds and Manchester at speeds in excess of 550 mph. It has never been delayed or cancelled, is most reasonably priced and at this time of the day the buffet car serves croissants which would put a Parisian patisserie to shame.
For those of you in the know, the Northern Rail Executive Express is a seemingly random collection of tired, cramped, mismatched rolling stock which reluctantly and tardily trundles between the two hubs of major employment in the area. At peak hours it smells of whatever is currently blocking the toilet combined with the acrid perfume pumped out to mask the smell of whatever it is currently blocking the toilet. Off peak this heady Air de Toilette is invariably accompanied by the fragrance of joylessly consumed fried food. In my experience evening passengers not dining on the train are more than likely to be engaged in some level of drunken romantic entanglement – ranging from oral slobbering to vigorous and prolonged finger-fucking. Peasants the lot of you.
So here is some peasant food. Enjoy.
Now sit up straight, hands on desks and pay attention for what I am about to tell you is very important. This rosemary-infused oil is going to feature quite heavily in many up and coming and no doubt mouthwatering posts so it’s imperative you set aside the 10 minutes required to make it. Consider it homework.
Strolling through the orangery here at Yumblog Hall it became clear we were going to have a glut of oranges again this season. A bumper crop no doubt thanks to both the skill of old Mr Fothergill the head gardener, and the relentless sunshine and arid terroir of West Yorkshire. We decided to use some of this surplus to make marmalade as not only would it make a welcome addition to the yumblog breakfast table, but could also be jarred up, over-packaged, branded as Mrs Bloggings Traditional Hand-Crafted Artisan Olde English Chunky Orange Country Preserve and sold in our ‘Farm’ shop for a price so shocking we only dare reveal it at the checkout.
Stop right there ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Instead of going to the inconsiderable effort of making the dish below, why not pop on over to the Campbell’s website and follow one of their ‘sensational’ recipes for homemade soup. Or if you are feeling more adventurous and have a pound of chicken slurry, a tin of their soup and some pineapple chunks at hand, give this challenging melange a go.
Depending on the time of day, this dish makes a great brunch, brinner, brea, brupper or supfast.
My how times have changed. When we first started this blog we had to write a post longhand on a sheet of A4 and send it in a stamped-addressed envelope to our ISP. He would in turn fax a carbon copy up to internet where a conveyor belt would take it to the code processing plant to be forged into massive cast iron HTML monoliths – some h1 tags could be up to 10 foot tall and weigh nigh on 70 tons. Once annealed, polished and elaborately engraved they were taken by locomotive to the website there to be hoisted by steam crane onto their respective concrete foundations. A speech, the smash of a Champagne bottle, an uproarious ‘Huzzah’ from the crowd, and the new web page was launched.
These days we simply think a post to the inboard computer of our hover-car and before you can say ‘protein pill’ it’s published on every web page in the universe.
The plan was to make these with yumblog junior as part of a constructive and educational day of middle class parent/toddler fun. Despite initial enthusiasm and impatient requests of ‘cam i make cakes now?’, once the ingredients were assembled and all sharp objects removed from easy reach, the sprog decided she had more important things to do and her time would be better spent fidgeting on the sofa half watching ‘Stewart Little’. So I made these all on my tod.
So tasty is this pasta dish it has taken over from the mighty ‘La pasta col tocca d’arrosto’ as THE quick and reliable midweek regular here at yumblog cottage. Originally an Angela Hartnett recipe which came to our attention as the result of a surplus of kale and google search, it has, over the months, transmuted, transformed and transmogrified into the dish you see posted below.
I know, it’s the middle of January so it’s unlikely any of you lot (dear readers) are going to want to digest anything referring back to Christmas, Christmas dinner or any of its associated trimmings. But trust me, in 344 days, 2 hours, 37 minutes and 55 seconds (at time of writing) you’ll be desperately thumbing through books, magazines and websites in search of tasty new ways to add to your Yuletide calorie intake. So hit Apple-D and see you back here in 344 days, 2 hours, 37 minutes and 54 seconds.
Happy New Year by the way.
Smoked salmon scotch (quail) egg
You can tell you’re at the Ocado end of the middle-class spectrum when your 2.5 year old asks for smoked salmon and quails eggs for breakfast. Soon she’ll be insisting on Jo Malone bum wipes. Anyway, if you manage to wrestle the ingredients away from your toddler why not make these lush smoked salmon scotch (quail) eggs?
In lieu of having anything (interesting) to write about baked beans, here are a few words/phrases and accompanying definitions from Yumblog Junior’s ever increasing personal lexicon:
Circle ham – German sausage
Rainbrella – Umbrella
Yellow people – The Simpsons
Oop sake – For fuck’s sake!
Ah, the things they say!
If you don’t have access to the rendered fatty juices which have oozed from the roasting flesh of a recently slaughtered animal, making a decent gravy can be quite a challenge. A vegetarian gravy requires time and attention to build up a sufficient depth of flavour, so I suggest you make this in advance and/or multiply the quantities and freeze the surplus.
By the way, here’s wishing a slightly belated happy Christmas to all our reader(s).