Vegetarian Recipes

As a rule I scroll past any sponsored content appearing in my Facebook timelime (unless of course it’s from Boots in which case I write an angry comment telling them to stop ripping off the NHS and pay their fucking taxes, or Dyson when I inform them Henrys are better, and pay their fucking taxes), […]

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As the result of a Christmas spent in France hosted by, among others, Jean-Pierre the moustachioed turophile, we had pretty much vowed to stay away from cheese for long into the new year. That was until, in an idle moment, we happened across this tempting Potato, Leek and Gruyère tart from the ever reliable and […]

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You know humanity is truly approaching the end of days when a flier from McDonnalds drops on the doormat and not only pronounces ‘We deliver, McDelivery has arrived’, but also proudly trumpets that this essential service is bought to you by UberEATS. A partnership forged in the fat-clogged sewers of neoliberal hell. It could only […]

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Traditional Cheese Fondue

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On the occasion of impending guests we thought that a butter-rich pastry was the place to start. Then we thought that filling that butter-rich pastry with cream, eggs and cheese might be the very thing. And some wine and a bit more butter. And finally, because we didn’t want our guests to think we were […]

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Like the yoghurt, this is our second posting for Labneh and also like the yoghurt this uses a simpler Valentine Warner-inspired process. Labneh – strained yoghurt

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Sun turns to grey, grey turns to wet and wet heralds the first flood alert for, ooh days. Time to get nostalgic about those long balmy Yorkshire summer evenings sitting on the white-washed terraza under ancient gnarled trees, their branches heavy with succulent ripe Barm Cakes still warm from the day’s sun. It was on […]

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Such is the toothsomeness of this pizza, it has now become a Friday evening regular here at Yumblog Cottage – along with six hasty after-work Stellas and a punch up* with rival food bloggers in the precinct. The recipe comes from the excellent ‘Polpo – A Venetian cookbook (of Sorts)‘ by Russell Norman. If you […]

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As the snow fell on Yumblog Cottage thoughts turned to sledging and comfort food.

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Sometimes I wonder why we bother. We try our best to make this blog an edifying and sophisticated experience, but a glance at our site stats shows that the top three search queries which brought you here today were ‘Soft porn’, ‘Chicken pox’ and ‘Dairylea Lunchables’. You’re a weird and mucky bunch. Incidentally, anyone browsing […]

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My how times have changed. When we first started this blog we had to write a post longhand on a sheet of A4 and send it in a stamped-addressed envelope to our ISP. He would in turn fax a carbon copy up to internet where a conveyor belt would take it to the code processing […]

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Kohlrabo, Kohlrabmas, Kohlrabat, Kohlrabamus, Kohlrabatis, Kohlrabant. Or for those of you who were’t fortunate enough to go to Sir Joseph Williamson Mathematical Grammar School for Boys* and can’t speak Latin**, I Kohlrabi, You (singular) Kohlrabi, He, She or It Kohlrabi, We Kohlrabi, You (plural) Kohlrabi, They Kohlrabi.

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Pity the green pepper, no wonder it’s a little bitter, here in the UK its sole function is to ‘add a bit of colour’ to that dull and unwanted guest at every barbecue, picnic or family gathering* – the rice and sweetcorn salad. Not so in Spain where the pimiento verde is treated with the […]

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The arrival of Granny and an aunty to celebrate Yumblog Junior’s second birthday had the added advantage of the potential for babysitting and therefore a rare evening out for the parents. Searching for tasty and cheesy ballast with which to fortify ourselves before what was inevitably going to be a multi-pint boozy night out, we […]

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The original source of this recipe was the excellent ‘Abel & Cole Cookbook’ – currently given away free with a month’s trial of their veg boxes. They called it something along the lines of ‘Baked spinach with cheesy weezy wosty eggy wegs’ – a little twee and Belle and Sebastian for comfort – hence the […]

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Perhaps with the exception of the odd East End boozer and the ready availability of Waitrose, there are not many things to miss about no longer being in that there London. However, living as we do in the heartland of Greggs, we have yet to find any bakers which sell a decent loaf – some […]

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If any of you dodgy lot were to break into Yumblog Cottage, you would probably notice (apart from how bloody cold it is) that despite several shelf loads of cookbooks, there was virtually nothing ‘written’ by TV chefs. No matter how frantically you rummaged, you’d find no Jamie, Nigella, Gordon, Heston, Sophie, Ainsley, Gino, Levi, […]

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…or goat’s cheese pancakes.

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Although the fridge has now all but emptied of Christmas goodies the cheese compartment is still heavy with half-eaten lumps, wheels and wedges of every variety of soft, hard, blue, holey, mature and goat. It has become clear that the occasional lunchtime snack is never going to make much headway into this cheesey surplus and […]

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The inverted commas are there because this loaf contains no yeast and is actually more of a savoury cake than a bread. This has the added advantage that as well as being pleasantly toothsome, it can also manifest from a wishful inkling to an incontrovertible plateful in just under an hour and a half. That’s […]

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We like a bargain here at Yumblog Cottage, so when we spied the veg stall at Todmorden Market selling large boxes of portobello mushrooms for the VERY reasonable price of two quid, we couldn’t resist. They proved to be the frugal basis of three meals – this, a tasty cream of mushroom soup (recipe in […]

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…or potato pancakes with toasted goat’s cheese. Or indeed rosti with toasted goat’s cheese. But another Alsatian dish anyway.

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…and so to the second Simon Hopkinson dish.

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What do you do when you’ve been engauntleted by a friend regarding the potentiality of high quality picnic foodage? Why you go to your most recent recipe font and seek out something large and sublime that will sate the masses. And it has all the food groups too, cream cheese, cream, sugar, eggs.

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Here’s a quick and tasty meal to enjoy as the earth’s crust inexplicably crumbles and spews forth molten drivel*.

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The weekend here at Yumblog Towers begins peasant-like with a simple and humble Friday evening meal of bread and cheese. Mind you, the bread is an alarmingly expensive sour dough from St John which we lightly toast and rub with garlic and the cheese is a hand-picked selection from Neal’s Yard and represents the best […]

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If you fancy two of your five-a-day smothered in cheese sauce then this is the recipe for you.

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Being a puritan and a snob, I wouldn’t normally condone any recipe for pesto which strayed away from the traditional holy trinity of basil, pine nuts and parmesan. Profane variations such as ‘Rocket and walnut’ or ‘Spinach and sun-dried tomatoes’ have a desperate and makeshift ‘Ready Steady Cook’ feel about them, which in my experience […]

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In an attempt to escape the hysterical media build up to ‘the wedding’, not to mention the event itself with its stupid street parties, stupid bunting, stupid flag waving and general unseemly national deference to our ‘betters’, we left the country and spent Easter in the relaxed sun-drenched (republic) of Berlin. Fortunately for us the […]

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A few weekends back the Yumblog family boarding a cramped Virgin train and sped uncomfortably northwards to West Yorkshire in what could be referred to as Phase Two of their cunning plan for a bright and exciting new future. A few days later they returned to Yumblog Towers refreshed and excited and carrying a modest […]

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This is less of a recipe and more of a reminder to shove a Camembert in the oven once in a while for a fast fatty indulgent treat … and do it soon before this world inexorably unravels to a lawless (and cheeseless) wasteland.

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4. Potato and Onion Gratin Remarkably after only 4 (admittedly onion heavy) meals, we have reached the end of our £2 sack of onions. On this occasion they were consenting adults in a cheeky extramarital foursome with potatoes, cream and cheese – resulting in this very rich and even verier delicious gratin.

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Despite heroic efforts on our part, post-Christmas still found us with a substantial wedge of a 3 tonne wheel of Stilton left uneaten. This tart was one of several tasty ways we found to remedy the problem.

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Porcini are very much in vogue here at Yumblog Towers. Along with late Sunday roasts. And baked potatoes with cheese and beans and coleslaw. And spending Saturday morning watching 5Live on the red button. And Sophie the teething giraffe. And Friday night beer and pizza after swimming. Lots of things in fact. But not duck […]

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…which makes this three times better than a mono cheesed risotto.

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The last six months have seen many changes here at Yumblog Towers. Saturday nights are no longer a time of cage fighting (for her) or pole dancing (for him) but instead spent indoors looking after our increasingly fidgety but exponentially lovely offspring. Although compensation is not necessary, we do like to remunerate our parental devotion […]

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Team yumblog have recently returned from a fashionable late summer staycation in Lyme Regis – a town famed for its fossil strewn Jurassic coastline, historic Cobb and a love-lorn Meryl Streep. Less well known is its enthusiasm for the unimpressive pastime of stone balancing, a strange obsession with anything ‘gluten free’, and the universal practice […]

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Pesto Although I’ve made pesto many times before, I’ve generally haphazardly chucked the ingredients into the food processor and left it to chance. Despite the results usually being good, I thought it was about time I consulted the mama of authentic Italian home cooking, Marcella Hazan and see if she had an angle on this […]

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In the spirit of Dandruff Dave’s Big Society we here at Yumblog have served each other redundancy notices so that you, dear reader, can volunteer and write this blog yourself.  So come on Dirk, Tony, Helen, Scooter McKenzie, Mimsy Swallows, Zucchini Breath, Briony Bob et al, step forward and become part of this radical new […]

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For anyone who hasn’t eaten this butter and cheese laden French take on mashed potato let me tell you it is more comforting than being hugged by a 6 foot Angora rabbit with a PhD in Applied Cuddling. More comforting than lying in a bath of warm Lenor as a Labrador puppy nuzzles your neck […]

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