Happy New Year to all our readers… here’s to a splendiferous 2016!
January 1st, 2016 · No Comments
November 9th, 2015 · 5 Comments
A trip down memory lane …
November 2nd, 2015 · No Comments
Ooh, the nights are drawing in. A pudding was required for esteemed guests and having banished thoughts of complex custards I alighted on the idea of feeding our friends something sweet and sticky instead, plums and apples away with you and your dull autumnal associations.
October 20th, 2015 · No Comments
A few weekends ago saw the publication of the Observer Food Monthly Awards and their interesting choice of winner in the best blog category. With sales from her first book of a quarter of a million, offices in Bloomsbury, a ‘core team’ of three, a regular column in The Telegraph, oh and multi-millionaire parents, awarding Deliciously Ella first prize was hardly in the spirit of the competition. Besides, this is less of a blog and more of a monetised gauche portal into the Lalaland of energising soups, naturopathic nutrition, and self-regarding ‘inspirational’ twaddle. How on earth Ms Ella managed to top this reader voted poll with a following of only 580,000 on Instagram is beyond me.
I look forward to next year’s best blog going to Jamieoliver.com, cheap eats to KFC, or more appropriately given the delicious Ella’s lineage, Best Independent Retailer being awarded to Sainsbury’s. Bitter? No. Just disappointed with The Observer.
October 6th, 2015 · No Comments
Straddling the seasons by paradoxically being both light and summery yet warming and wintery this dish could, if not prepared strictly to the recipe below, set up an inverted spiralling loop of cognitive dissonance capable of causing a brobdingnagian antithetical bi-cranial logic schism (and possible nose bleed). So be warned.
October 6th, 2015 · No Comments
If, like us, you thought the tastiest way to deal with a beetroot was to borscht it, you’re in for a treat – this is possibly tastier. Better still, apart from the beetroot and a bit of cream, it can be constructed from what are commonly called ‘store cupboard staples‘.
September 29th, 2015 · No Comments
Another dish with an Asian theme. Appropriate considering the news from the Tory party conference this week is that we’ll all (or at least the low paid lesser orders) soon be ‘working like Chinese‘. Excuse the slip of the tongue, but even amongst such stiff competition, the Right Honourable Member of Parliament for South West Surrey stands out as a complete and utter total ‘hunt’.
Beyond contempt. Beyond parody. Beyond belief.
September 28th, 2015 · No Comments
We have just been blessed, here in Brighton, with a visitation from a bearded prophet from the North (Islington). Known variously as the Anointed One, the Author of Eternal Salvation, the Alpha and Omega, the great I am, or simply … Jeremy H Corbyn. A beacon of light in these dark days, and possibly our only hope to oust the entitled bed-wetting pig fucker and chums who shall ne’er be named in these hallowed pages. Herewith to be referred to simply as the Anti-Corbyn. We’re going to need all the strength we can muster over the next five years, so join us by partaking in the biggest bloodiest slab of protein available to the fish-eating vegetarian, the tuna steak. Better still, bejewel with sesame seeds and serve with an amusing sweet and sour salad.
September 14th, 2015 · 2 Comments
…or beetroot soup made with leaves.
Not knowing whether beetroot leaves are a tasty and nutritious alternative to chard or a toxin filled time bomb of agonising death, I thought I’d better check their edibility before posting this recipe. Turns out they are perfectly benign and not dissimilar to the aforementioned chard.
August 11th, 2015 · 2 Comments
Hey meat-eaters! Invited a hapless vegetarian over to your barbecue? Why not forego the meat-free delights of (Sp)Asda and surprise them by serving up something which is actually tasty for once – fr’instance, this hearty succulent and colourful burger packed with thought-provoking flavours and textural anomalies!
August 11th, 2015 · 2 Comments
Obviously being the unbearable gastro-snobs that we are here at Yumblog Terrace we would never dream of buying a meal from anywhere as common or unrefined as a take away, Chinese or otherwise. So imagine our chagrin when travellers from the Orient told of a rare Eastern delicacy known as a Sesame Prawn Toast which, were we to satiate our desire, would necessarily have to be purchased from the very such establishment. Luckily for you dear reader(s) this dilemma has been solved, so now there is no need to get into the car and drive around the corner to Phat Kok in search of this fishy titbit, you can make it yourself, in the safety of your own home… and in a matter of minutes.
October 8th, 2014 · 4 Comments
On the occasion of impending guests we thought that a butter-rich pastry was the place to start. Then we thought that filling that butter-rich pastry with cream, eggs and cheese might be the very thing. And some wine and a bit more butter. And finally, because we didn’t want our guests to think we were trying to render them obese come pumpkin time, we added herbs and leeks – health nuts we are.
October 6th, 2014 · No Comments
What to do on a rainy day in Brighton when the girl can’t go to the playground for a solid two hours after school? Well, you make biscuits. Well you plan to make biscuits but then the girl chooses something biscuitesque from a giant biscuit compendium and you adjust it due to the presence of cream cheese in the topping and the presence of the word frosting in the recipe. So chocolate fudge bars or Schokoladencremetafel, were they to exist in Germany and need translating.
And so to the recipe.
May 17th, 2014 · 4 Comments
My grandmother ‘Nanan’ was born on 17th May 1914, she would have been 100 today. When going through her files a few years ago my mother found a few sheets of paper containing a typed up account of her experience of being in Prague in 1939 when the Germans arrived, I have reproduced the text in full below. She was 24 at the time. No need to editorialise.
THE GERMAN OCCUPATION OF PRAGUE
The relief at being at last able to put one’s thoughts into words, after having been bottled up in German Territory must be experienced to be understood. We experienced this relief upon our arrival at Basel from Prague, after our seventeen hours’ journey, and after five days in the occupied territory. One learns to appreciate the plight of the refugee, having been in much the same position for a short time.
Our first intimation of the occupation to come was on Tuesday, March 15, when in returning from the office shortly after 7pm we were struck, firstly by the number of people, and secondly by the atmosphere, which seemed electric. The main streets of the town were lined with police and loudspeakers mounted on poles were exhorting the crowds to preserve order. German supporters, very few in number, were provoking the people by wearing the hated white stockings and by waving Nazi emblems. Every now and then a scuffle would take place, ending by forced separation by the police. For the most part the crowds were sullen and they seemed rather dazed. Later in the same evening a parade of Germans took place through the town. They were greeted in silence, or by boo-ing. We were told on that evening in the restaurant that the Germans would soon be in Prague. Our informed, a Czech, said this in a half unbelieving manner, little knowing how right he was to be proved. All night the wireless continued to operate, and people congregated until late in the driving snow to obtain news.
April 14th, 2014 · No Comments
Pity the poor baby octopus, born a hatchling among a thousand siblings, each no larger than a pinhead and yet all filled with the innocent expectation of a future filled with fun, laughter and adventure. Then, just as they open their eyes and blink with wonder at the world around them, they are dredged into a giant net and hauled up to the surface and inevitable oblivion. A stark reminder to us all of the ephemeral nature of existence and the ultimate futility of believing in anything other than our own insignificance.
Still, tasty though.
Interior detail of of our latest favouritest pub, Brighton Rocks Bar.
April 14th, 2014 · No Comments
This is number seven in our occasional series ‘In search of the perfect pasta sauce’, and once again we have turned to our adopted Italian granny Marcella Hazan for inspiration. Thus far she’s rarely let us down.
March 23rd, 2014 · 1 Comment
One of the (myriad) advantages of leaving Hebden Bridge is we are no longer hostage to the weekly visit of ‘Paul the Fish’ with his stall of filleted fish and erratic Welsh mussels. Living in sunny Brighton we now have access to the full aquatic range of anything with scale, shell or tentacle which swims, crawls, drifts or slithers in the neighbouring ocean.
Along with cod cheeks, squid is now back on the menu.
March 21st, 2014 · 2 Comments
We have been doubly blessed since we moved here to sunny Brighton, for not only do we now have casual access to a Waitrose, but a mere 20 strides away on the opposite side of the street is the Taj grocer, a large independently owned store offering a cornucopia of (eastern) international ingredients the likes of which we’ve not seen since moving out of London. T’was here we got the aubergines, yoghurt and coriander for this recipe … if the Taj gave away a free Guardian to loyalty card holders, there’d almost be no reason to cross the road.
March 11th, 2014 · No Comments
Want to start your weekend with a lime zest and a chilli zing? Then look no further than this curious and surprisingly delicious Mexican inspired egg-based brunch. Arriba! Arriba! Andale! Andale!
March 9th, 2014 · No Comments
I know what you’re thinking: “What the Fricking Frack are cod cheeks?” The answer (they’re the meaty jowls of the Gadus Morhua) begs the obvious supplementary question “…and where on earth do you expect me to get hold of those obscure little frackers?” The immediate reply is sorry, not even Waitrose stock them, so unless you can find yourself a very good Fishmonger or a friendly trawlerman, can’t help you. I suppose you could buy half a tonne of whole cod and extract the fishy chops yourself, but that could get expensive. That said, IF you do happen upon them, give them a go, they are really rather good.
February 25th, 2014 · No Comments
Hi all. Sorry about the recent lack of activity, but we have both been banged up in the nick for 8 long years. Did you miss us? The following recipe was a great favourite with the lags on D-wing.
February 24th, 2014 · No Comments
Turning once again to the esteemed ‘Livre de Cuisine des Monsieurs Hommes’ in search of culinary inspiration, Yumblog Junior chanced upon this complex and controversial confection from disgraced chef de cuisine and one time enfant terrible, Monsieur Fouineur. Hounded by the tabloids and plagued by rumours of espionage and peeping tomfoolery, this once great pâtissier never achieved the same levels of success or respect as his three contemporaries, Monsieurs Petit, Gelée and Drôle. We here at Yumblog believe it is time to put Monsieur Fouineur’s nids back on the table.
January 21st, 2014 · 2 Comments
Hello again dear reader(s). Sorry about the woeful lack of posts recently but we have been busy upping sticks yet again and moving back down south to Brighton by the sea. Normal yumblogging will be resuming soonish, but in the meantime here is an infographic what I done did to illustrate an as yet unwritten yuckblog on instant ‘cappuccino’. Hope you all had a good Christmas.
November 2nd, 2013 · 7 Comments
“Oh Pater, dearest…” exclaimed Yumblog Junior from her preferred leather winged Bergere situated in the Soft Play and Cigar Lounge of The Junior Carlton Club, “It says here in the esteemed ‘Livre de Cuisine des Monsieurs Hommes’ that Chef Marcel Muddle has created the most divine cornflake encrusted Petits Beurres which evidently are the talk of Parisian society! Oh Pater dearest, can we bake some forthwith, can we, can we?” And so starts a typical day here at Yumblog Cottage …
October 28th, 2013 · No Comments
There are only 3 shopping days left until Hallowe’en, so why not hot foot it down to your nearest pumpkinorium, grab yourself the largest Cucurbita pepo you can carry and drag it back to the kitchen table, there to prepare it not once, not twice, but thrice-wise as prescribed below – ensouped, seedled and carved.
Pumpkin Soup & Roasted Pumpkin Seeds
October 22nd, 2013 · No Comments
I’m always reluctant to write up a recipe for soup as it seems far too simple to warrant a post and possibly risks insulting your no doubt exemplary culinary skills dear reader(s). After all, your average soup is usually just a few veg zhuzhed up in olive oil or butter, simmered for 20 mins in stock and liquidised to the requisite soupy soup consistency. There again, most of you mucky lot come here by mistake searching for photos of Nigella in the nuddy, leaving disappointed and frustrated a bare 11 seconds later… so why should I care what you think? Soup it is then.
Roasted sweet potato and carrot soup
October 21st, 2013 · No Comments
As much as I love to cook, sometimes it’s a welcome treat to prepare a meal which requires little more effort than a nifty flip of the switch on the Magimix.
Spaghetti with green tomatoes & herbs
October 21st, 2013 · No Comments
… or an Italian version of a baguette. Not to be confused with the French Stick – the English version of the baguette which is 24 inches of pale bendy disappointment and about as authentic as Peckham Spring Water.
October 9th, 2013 · 2 Comments
A monthly review of this site’s stats shows that in your endless and futile search for all that is novel and inconsequential, on average you lot spend only 11 fleeting and no doubt twitchy seconds reading Yumblog. For fuck’s sake, dear readers, you’re a capricious bunch … sometimes I wonder why we bother.
…8, 9, 10, 11, time’s up … now bugger off to somewhere more edifying.
October 9th, 2013 · No Comments
Obviously when I first eyed a display of Romanesco at the local veg market I mused how the inflorescence had an approximate self-similar character, with the branched meristems making a logarithmic spiral and how it approximated a natural fractal with each bud composed of a series of smaller buds, all arranged in yet another logarithmic spiral. (I don’t need to tell you, dear reader, that this self-similar pattern continues at several smaller levels). I pondered how this arrangement is only an approximation of a fractal since the pattern would eventually terminate when the feature size became sufficiently small. I could only wonder at the fibonacci number of this recursive helical arrangement of cones.
Then I got to thinking about how tasty it might be for my teatime.
Romanesco with paccheri
September 28th, 2013 · No Comments
Despite your average British tomato being a Dutch grown, prematurely picked, under-ripe, woolly, anaemic, flavourless, blemish-free and over-chilled orb of disappointment, it’s still hard to get a genuine green tomato in this country… unless of course you live in Yorkshire and grow your own, in which case they’ll ALL be green from lack of sunlight. So when I found a bag of (I assume intentionally) green tomatoes on our local veg stall, I couldn’t resist. As we tend to eschew the deep fat frier, we decided upon the baked rather than the more traditional fried offering.
And very tasty it was too.
Baked green tomatoes
October 12th, 2013 · No Comments
…if anyone is interested I have a new folio site here.
Now gis a job!
September 3rd, 2013 · 2 Comments
Don’t roll your eyes, I know what you’re thinking, “Stuffed marrow? When it comes to vegetarian misery, it’s up there with the brown rice and kidney bean salad …or anything involving couscous or a that stalwart of the ‘vegetarian option’, the butternut squash”. Relax, this is like no other marrow you’ve stuffed before, and as well as being very tasty it is a great way to use up that mutated elephantine courgette which has been neglected too long and embarked on an invasion of the neighbour’s garden in search of lebensraum.
August 20th, 2013 · No Comments
Matt the Cat loved this soup (once we’d given her a spoon).
Spiced carrot soup with harissa
August 13th, 2013 · 2 Comments
It’s been a while since we’ve borsched a beetroot so when the Hebden Twins paid a brief visit the other morning and dropped off among other home-grown things, these handsome fellows, we knew exactly what to do with them.
September 30th, 2013 · No Comments
The (ish) is there because to be properly Deutsche this should of course contain in some part or many a piggy porcine element, and if our experience of eating out in Berlin is anything to go by, a solitary pineapple chunk.
Well you know what potato salad looks like, and it doesn’t photograph pretty, so here is some graffiti from Berlin instead.
August 11th, 2013 · No Comments
The day started with two itinerant cows and ended with a trip back in time to 1978. In between there was a misfuelling which led to three spontaneous guests for dinner. We served them pasta with this simple and deceptively delicious roasted pepper sauce.
Roasted pepper pasta sauce
August 1st, 2013 · 1 Comment
10 posts in 3 days, I’m off to lie down in a darkened room. How about writing a few comments when you visit … it’s what we live for.
August 1st, 2013 · 3 Comments
The beauty of this dish is you can do most of the prep work in advance and spend the afternoon in the pub. Not obligatory you understand, but highly recommended.
Tuna steak with peas, broad beans & spinach
July 31st, 2013 · No Comments
…not to be confused with a Vinegaroon which is an ugly and menacing fucker you definitely wouldn’t want to share the dinner table with.
If you are short of time AND have been lucky enough to get hold of some juicy ripe flavoursome tomatoes (i.e. you live outside the UK) you can skip the whole 1½ – 2 hours slow roasting thing and simply liquidise your toms before straining through a sieve.
Roasted tomato vinaigrette