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Another slightly involved yet very tasty recipe from the mighty Dan ‘Love Bites’ Lepard. The slightly involved element is both understatement and DL raison d’etre and doubtless all his recipes benefit from the multi-tiered preparation, but SOMETIMES you want to make something you can eat while you can still remember starting the recipe. These are good though.

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Blogger-D’s comment on Guardian Online

I’m guessing that the amount of publicity given to 6Music these past few days must have done quite a bit to their listenership, I hope it has. Thompson and his fellow idiots should check out the figures and listen to their audience of proper music lovers. Does the BBC not exist to provide for the people?

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‘From concept to the last sprig of garnish by Fanny and Johnnie Cradock’

No3, published by Purnell in 1970, every Thursday, price 4′6. The issue which brought you Fanny’s infamous ‘Banana Candles’

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No matter how hungry you are. Even if you’ve wasted an entire Friday evening sitting in the Regent Street Apple Store waiting for a ‘Genius’ to fit a new battery to your 9 month old MacBook Pro, never buy a Sainsbury’s Cheese Feast Stuffed Crust Pizza. It’s pure filth. And not in a good way.

Save 6 Music – sign the petition

Click below for more pages plus a selection of recipes for invalids including Virolised Milk Jelly, Nourishing Lemonade, Invalid Pudding, Restorative Jelly, Fish Custard and Gruel.

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Something funny to look at while you are waiting

A range of four T-Shirts inspired by last night’s viewing of George Lucas’ little known and very strange 1970 classic ‘THX 1138′. Click here to visit our shop.

Ricotta & Parsley Ravioli with Tomato & Cream Sauce

The offer of some Valentine themed goodies from our friends at Interflora and a cooking apron from our latest chums at The Last detail, prompted us to cook up something which would make an ideal romantic dinner for two. Besides, it was the day before the day before Blogger-D’s birthday – reason enough to dig out the pasta maker, dust off the Royal Doulton and open up the Imperial Banqueting Suite here at Yumblog Hall.

If you would like to win an Interflora hamper, enter this competition

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This recipe was featured in the Fat Bastards Hairy Bikers ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas‘ which aired late last year. We have gradually warmed to these two over the years, so when they signed off saying ‘if you only cook one thing this Christmas, make sure it is this Panna Cotta’, we knew we had to take their hairy advice.

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The recent bracing wave of cold and snow prompted a frenzy of soup making here at Yumblog Towers. Of the many and tasty varieties produced few warmed the cockles more than this Colcannon, which is rich, smooth, buttery and fundamentally Bubble and Squeak in an easy to ingest liquid form.

So good you’ll want to stick it on the wall

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Recently a friend of Yumblog arrived breathless on our doorstep brandishing a bag of chickpea flour and gabbling lavish tales of a crepe-like dish prepared for her by a Frenchman with an impressive moustache. With some reluctance we let her in and once calmed with a Lager & Campari, set about making sense of her crazed wordage. It turned out she was talking about ‘Socca’ – a pancake/blini hybrid type thing from southern France.

Click here for dish of the day

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Following on from this week’s earth shattering news of a woman who found six double yolkers* in a single box of eggs, imagine our surprise and delight when we cracked open an egg this morning and found not just a double yolk, but a double yolk bearing the dual fizzogs of cheeky TV light entertainers Ant and Dec. Obviously we did what any sane person would do it this situation and immediately phoned the Daily Mail. Their receptionist told us the odds of this eggy miracle happening were an astounding 4:1.

* WARNING: This link takes you through to The Mail Online. Now wash your hands!

Recently BluSky Innoventions™ the ‘Pseudo-Science, Holistic Wellness, Quantum Synergy & Bio-Weapons Division’ of Yumblog Holdings Plc was given an obscenely large EU grant to investigate whether it is necessary to cook pasta traditionally in a large volume of boiling water, or whether it could be prepared ‘risotto’ style in the merest covering of liquid. Our groundbreaking and highly controversial findings shocked the psuedo-science world, outraged the Daily Mail* and could change pasta-based cookery forever. This recipe was the outcome… read on.

An artist’s impression of how exciting this recipe could be if you cooked it over a 10,000 Mega Joule thermal lance.

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Ever willing to jump on any faddish bandwagon which happens to be passing his £1.5 million North Kensington home, and eager to emulate the grubby and cynical dealings of Silvio Berlusconi, David Cameron today announced the launch of the McTory burger.

Included in the range is the McBullingdon (Two over-privileged 1/2lb brandy fuelled patties made from a smug blend of minced swan, veal calf tears and foie gras fed Kobe beef in a lightly toasted ermine-trimmed truffled brioche. Price on request.) The McDave (A stale insubstantial bun with nothing in between. £299.99.) The McNHS (Soon to be cut up into little pieces and sold off to the highest bidder) and the McThatcher (Subsequently withdrawn after being discovered to be both poisonous and mad.)

Our leader in waiting with whopper in hand

I was shocked to read that British children’s packed lunches are not meeting the nutritional standards that have been set for their classmates on school meals. A typical school child’s packed lunch consists of sugary snacks, knives,  skunk, happy slapping, chlamydia, foul language and Monster Munch it was revealed in today’s Daily Mail. This nutritional outrage is in stark contrast to the healthy lunches our Mums packed for us in the 1970s…as illustrated below.

If our recent trip to Prague is anything to go by, it would appear the only vegetarian option available in the Czech Republic is deep fried Edam with boiled potatoes. Nothing wrong with that of course – cheese and spuds are two of my favourite food groups especially if the former is heavily grated over the latter and grilled to a molten bubbling layer of stringy cheesy goodness.

Pan Heggerty is one such combination and makes a delicious and warming side-dish (or indulgent lazy supper/hangover brunch) perfect for these Arctic times.

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Soups are always tricky to photograph and mushroom soup, being the colour and consistency of weetabix-based gruel is particularly unphotogenic. So by way of a diversion, here is an ant’s-eye view of a random mushroom (or toadstool) which may (or may not) be delicious (or lethal).

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Hi guys. Hot off the mustard* the new issue of Yumie Magazine is chock-a-block full of exciting colourful Christmas ideas to make your humble monochrome existence less shabby, bleak, and let’s be honest, pointless. Look on with slack-jawed envy as we honour you with a glimpse into the kaleidoscopic sumptuous magnificence that is a Christmas here at Yumblog Towers. Our festivities are so resplendently swank and perfectly choreographed they make Nigela’s absurd yuletide fantasy look almost achievable.

So pick up a copy today and see how your Christmas could have been.

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This year Yumblog spent Christmas in Berlin with one (the posh) half of the extended Yumblog family. Among many things there was much snow, a healthy smattering of Krautrock, Lego, Glühwein, a ruggedised JCB mobile phone, a (disappointing) visit to the Currywurst museum, plastic cheese for breakfast and duplicate ‘Shaun the Sheep’ DVDs. The (much heralded) recipe below was conceived, created, constructed, photographed and posted by guest and honorary yumblogger, ‘Potkicker T’.

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Happy New Year from all of us here at Yumblog.

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Kale, Cheese & Bread Soup

For what is essentially a soggy cheese and cabbage sandwich, this is very, very tasty.

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Tips on how best to cook your turkey, Christmas recipes and (very) last-minute gifts ideas from AGA.

As it’s Christmas, I thought you’d might like to see last years magnificent festive display put on by the bloke who lives opposite my sister. Turn up the volume …it’s all about the music and startled animals.

Now we had no idea Interflora sold anything other than flora, so when they got in touch and asked if we’d like try one of their Christmas hampers we thought we owed it to you, dear reader, to say ‘Yes please’. Two days later we were sent the ‘Merry Christmas Tray‘ which we greedily hurried to the secret yumblog laboratory 175 metres beneath the Franco-Swiss border for extensive (and potential apocalyptic) taste trials.

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Yumblog have now changed service providers and so should no longer disappear for days on end without explanation. Thanks to Richard at  Varihost who, free of charge, sorted out the mess left by our previous ISP. Yumblog has now been live all day without interruption or fuckup, something which was beyond the ambition of the incompetent and ironically named Adept Hosting.

R&D

If you would like to spread this message of Christmas joy, click on ‘Read more’ for our FREE Christmas card download.

Just imagine how lovely this will look on your Grans’ mantlepiece

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It was Hallowe’en and amid the regular, numerous, and it seems to me slightly gratuitous pictures of sad-eyed children with hare lips, the Guardian magazine had this Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall recipe for marshmallow. Perhaps naively, I had no idea Marshmallows were a simple man-made concoction of sugar and gelatine – I assumed they grew on trees like spaghetti and money.

Want to see something scary? Take a look at ‘People of Walmart‘

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Residents only.

Another HF-W recipe from the Guardian magazine. His ability to tap into the Blogger-D taste-psyche is uncanny.

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What better way to round off a sunday in which not only have you built the worlds most magnificent shelving ’solution’ from scratch (and wood) but also found the time to watch a (double) episode from the forth (and darkest) season of BSG than by sitting down with your (lovely) co-blogger and eating this hearty, rich (wintery) dish? (That’s enough brackets – Ed). None I’d say … although our choice of viewing could have been a lot better.

‘Remember to take a photograph before you have eat it … otherwise you’ll have to resort to cobbling together a clumsy visual metaphor’

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Hi Guys, is Jamie Oliver’s Spicy Olive Garlic & Tomato Pasta Sauce not salty enough for you? Why not try the Yumblog strawberry flavoured salt lick – It’s guaranteed to get your blood boiling! Only £12.99 from all good branches of Cost Cutter.

Great sprinkled on chips!

Fwd: Underground food and drink festival, E8

Hi R

(a) It costs £40
(b) It involves booze
(c) It is pitching itself as so intolerably cool I can almost feel the moustaches

Obviously we won’t be able to call ourselves cutting edge any more, never mind.

D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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The recent purchase of a £25 bargain pasta maker* has led to a spate of fresh pasta making here at Yumblog Towers. Whether this enthusiasm lasts or whether this gadget ends up in the back of the cupboard along with the onion goggles, Waring Professional Martini Maker, OXO Good Grips® Strawberry Huller, Cuisinart® Soup Maker, some nonsense called a ‘Stirr’, and not forgetting the glorified jam jar that is the Jamie Oliver® Flavour Shaker, who knows?** Anyway, it was Hallowe’en and I had recently scored some squid ink, so it could only be black pasta.

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I don’t know about you, but I think all this talk of Gordon Ramsay having a facelift is utter nonsense… his lovely new complexion is just down to sympathetic lighting and a good daily skin care regime.

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Here’s a great idea – why not get up early on Saturday morning and spend an hour baking for a cat? After all it has to be a rewarding experience, our feline colleagues are renowned for their un-fussy attitude to food and the appreciative way they savour every meal lovingly placed before them. What could go wrong?

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Hi guys. The new issue of Yumie Magazine trudges wearily over the well-trod ground of the US of A! We’ve asked around the office, spent the morning on Google and flicked through a 20 year old edition of ‘Floyd’s American Pie’ to cobble together this lazy cliché-ridden feast of Americana. Some of these recipes have never been published (or cooked) before – great dishes like Kentucky Fried Oreo’s, Vittles and Grits en croute and Mom’s Apple Pizza. Then there are nutritional and healthy recipes from legendary US chefs such as Colonel Sanders, Ronald McDonald, Uncle Ben and new kid on the block, the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

All this, plus page after page of adverts masquerading as editorial shamelessly plugging all our other enterprises – makes Yumie your one-stop-shop for American clichés. And old chestnuts. And stereotypes. And platitudes. And re-heated left-overs…

Once again, Jme copies our best ideas. The bare faced cheek of the man!

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A rare meaty yumblog recipe here, although this is still a tasty dish even if the pig element is left out.

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Anyone find the secret image of Ken Livingstone in the latest edition of OFM?

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