Stuff

Yumtech Technology Solutions are proud to announce that since the spectacular success of its trial on Simon Hopkinson’s ‘The Good Cook’, all future Yumblog postings will now feature this convenient ‘Quick Response’ code. Simply touch your QR enabled Android smartphone* to the screen and instantly receive the missing parts of the recipe we couldn’t be bothered to type up, a …

to Yumblog Junior, who is one today. A birthday wish from Marc Riley on 6Music.

Hi guys, hot off the press, the latest issue of Yumie magazine hits the newsagents’ shelves today. However, as the covershot is a photograph of an unmarried man casually tossing a salad, we feel we are beholden to public decency to place it behind our Family Shield™. Boom! And THAT ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, is called satire. (WARNING! …

Yumblog exclusive: Gordon Ramsay reveals the results of his £30,000 hair transplant. view larger image

Michel Roux Jr shows Monica Galetti his enormous cardoon

A belated thanks to all the staff at the Marie Celeste Maternity Ward, The Royal London Hospital. In these dangerous Cameron days it’s important to fight privatisation and commercialisation and support the NHS. View all images

Don’t forget, 20:00, tomorrow, for the next 128 weeks. The first crop of celebrities are: Neil Stuke (Game On/The Bill), Tessa Sanderson (Javelin Gold Medal/The Bill), Richard Farleigh (Dragons Den/The Bill), Alex Fletcher (Brookside/The Bill) and Nihal Arthanayake (Radio One/The Bill) Next: Colin Jackson (5 ft 11½ in), Tricia Penrose (From Heartbeat to a fitness video via a failed music …

In lieu of a proper posting, here is a photo of a dog-shaped piece of marmalade on toast which miraculously appeared at a recent breakfast.

We here at Yumblog would like to announce the addition to our team of Yumblog Junior, who arrived last Wednesday weighing in at an impressive 9lb 12oz. Normal Yumblogging will resume soon and we promise no cutesy baby anecdotes or amusing tales of parenthood.* * probably

Some of you may have missed the whole Delia’s Seafood Risotto brouhaha. Read the comments before they are inevitably taken down.

Here are some entirely random screen grabs from ‘The Delicious Miss Dahl’

Nothing to do with food, but I thought you might like this illustration of how to fix a Telly Tubby’s broken tummy tele screen. Possibly not suitable for work (or small children). See whole illustration

Congratulations to NuDadDhruv for winning last nights MasterChef. He and the rest of the show will be greatly missed here at Yumblog Towers, although on the plus side we’ll no longer have to watch the endlessly repeated clip of the Tower of London toff coyly complaining “I think if I hadn’t been told it was a pigs ear I might …

Regular readers may recall that last year the face of our Lord Jesus H Christ miraculously appeared on a piece of toast. Well imagine our surprise when exactly a year to the day, the very same holy fizzog materialised on the piece of muslin we were using to cover our Hot Cross Bun dough. We immediately contacted experts at the …

Have you been watching the new Sophie Dahl cookery show? Isn’t it utterly brilliant! I think we can all agree it’s the very embodiment of the Reithian axiom to educate, inform and entertain and the BBC should be rightly proud of itself*. Who needs 6Music if the money saved by its butchery can go to make edifying programmes such as …

‘From concept to the last sprig of garnish by Fanny and Johnnie Cradock’ No3, published by Purnell in 1970, every Thursday, price 4’6. The issue which brought you Fanny’s infamous ‘Banana Candles’

Ever willing to jump on any faddish bandwagon which happens to be passing his £1.5 million North Kensington home, and eager to emulate the grubby and cynical dealings of Silvio Berlusconi, David Cameron today announced the launch of the McTory burger. Included in the range is the McBullingdon (Two over-privileged 1/2lb brandy fuelled patties made from a smug blend of …

I was shocked to read that British children’s packed lunches are not meeting the nutritional standards that have been set for their classmates on school meals. A typical school child’s packed lunch consists of sugary snacks, knives,  meow meow, happy slapping, chlamydia, Asbo’s and Monster Munch it was revealed in today’s Daily Mail. This nutritional outrage is in stark contrast …

Happy New Year from all of us here at Yumblog.

Hi Guys, is Jamie Oliver’s Spicy Olive Garlic & Tomato Pasta Sauce not salty enough for you? Why not try the Yumblog strawberry flavoured salt lick – It’s guaranteed to get your blood boiling! Only £12.99 from all good branches of Cost Cutter. Great sprinkled on chips!

Fwd: Underground food and drink festival, E8 Hi R (a) It costs £40 (b) It involves booze (c) It is pitching itself as so intolerably cool I can almost feel the moustaches Obviously we won’t be able to call ourselves cutting edge any more, never mind. D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don’t know about you, but I think all this talk of Gordon Ramsay having a facelift is utter nonsense… his lovely new complexion is just down to sympathetic lighting and a good daily skin care regime.