Vegetarian Recipes

This recipe does require the use of a pasta maker so you’ll need to have a rummage around in your cupboard of only-used-once things. There it is next to the Ken Hom wok set … to the left of the Jamie Oliver Flava Shaker … and behind everything you ever bought from the Lakeland catalogue. [...]

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Smoked salmon scotch (quail) egg You can tell you’re at the Ocado end of the middle-class spectrum when your 2.5 year old asks for smoked salmon and quails eggs for breakfast. Soon she’ll be insisting on Jo Malone bum wipes. Anyway, if you manage to wrestle the ingredients away from your toddler why not make [...]

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Forget the mapping of the human genome, the discovery of the Higgs Boson God particle, or the invention of L’Oreal’s age defying Boswelox™, I think we here at Laboratoires Yumblog can humbly announce we have made the single greatest scientific breakthrough since our prehistoric ancestors rubbed two dinosaurs together and conjured up fire. Like many [...]

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Ok, here’s a plan…the next time you make pizza dough (what do you mean you don’t make your own pizza dough?) make double/quadruple/sextuple quantities, portion them out and freeze the surplus for future generations. That way, whenever you fancy something a tad tastier than can be supplied by your local Dominoes, you’ll have a pizza [...]

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A while back we bought a bumper pack of frozen sweetcorn for Yumblog Junior hoping this might make a healthy addition to her somewhat restricted and monotonous diet. As is invariably the case she gave our offering a glance of contempt, shook her head and returned to her preferred menu of bananas, Marmite and toothpaste. [...]

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Our recent enthusiasm for cooking with mushrooms is appropriate as at the moment we seem to be cultivating several interesting varieties of our own on the increasingly damp internal walls here at Yumblog Cottage. The damp man* who came round to investigate told us we can eradicate 70% of the problem by simply keeping the [...]

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Now I know I don’t need to remind you dear reader, that when Pope Gregory XIII introduced the Gregorian calender in 1582 he decreed that the third Sunday of October would herald the beginning of Soup Season (Source: Wikipedia). Obviously in these most modern of times we are much more relaxed about such things and [...]

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…or potato pancakes with toasted goat’s cheese. Or indeed rosti with toasted goat’s cheese. But another Alsatian dish anyway. Google+

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We returned from a weekend visit to Grannie Gwydwr with among other things this saucy and buxom bulb of elephant garlic. …and by way of a diversion from riotous ‘hooded thuggery‘ and the long overdue collapse of capitalism, here are two diverting links: Diverting link #1, diverting link #2 Cover shot from this month’s ‘Allium [...]

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The beauty of this recipe is you can kid yourself you are eating a healthy authentic Mediterranean potato dish when in fact you are just scoffing fancy chips. Google+

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A few weekends back the Yumblog family boarding a cramped Virgin train and sped uncomfortably northwards to West Yorkshire in what could be referred to as Phase Two of their cunning plan for a bright and exciting new future. A few days later they returned to Yumblog Towers refreshed and excited and carrying a modest [...]

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Oft of a weekend we don disguises, dodge the border guards, dash across the metaphorical railway tracks and stealthily enter the sanctuary of E9 – aka Victoria Park Village. VPV (as I am sure it is referred to by Foxtons) is a culinary oasis in the otherwise apocalyptic wasteland of Costcutters and sub-KFC-style ‘restaurants’ which [...]

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2. Creamed onion and cider soup with Stilton A quarter of the way into our sack of onions, time to try another soup… Featuring as it does cider and Stilton, this could probably be called an English Onion Soup. Google+

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I couldn’t think of an introduction to this recipe so I ran it back and forth through BabelFish a few times until I ended up with ‘Muntachtige pea fries in oil the pie of meat [s] in order to fumigate the salmon of the friend’. Incidentally, apologies to Gordon Ramsay for our childish reference to [...]

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Despite heroic efforts on our part, post-Christmas still found us with a substantial wedge of a 3 tonne wheel of Stilton left uneaten. This tart was one of several tasty ways we found to remedy the problem. Google+

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… or scrambled eggs with goat’s cheese. If you want a different more goaty way to scramble your eggs, this is the recipe for you. Google+

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I’ll never forget the charming little threadbare street vendor on the dusty corner of Presa Las Virgenes and Paseo de la Reforma where we would regularly purchase our Elotes at the end of a frantic day’s shoot. We’d take these tasty corn ‘popsicles’ up to the terracotta rooftops of our rambling majestic casa and accompanied [...]

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Readers who feel more comfortable living their lives to a strict set of arbitrary rules will be pleased to discover this recipe adheres to the Four ‘S’ Dictum of Culinary Correctness: 1. Fresh peas are currently available – Seasonal. 2. Our balcony is resplendent with home-grown mint – Sustainable. 3. It’s eaten cold and it’s [...]

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The question mark is there because if eaten immediately this is a thick wholesome soup, but if left in the fridge overnight and eaten cold, it miraculously transforms into a tasty bean salad. Two different foodstuffs for the price (and effort) of one. Well bargain, innit. Google+

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Anaheim peppers are essentially mild with an unexpected and pleasing peppery warmth which registers a modest 500 to 2,500 on the Scoville scale. If you can’t get hold of them use the common or garden red pepper and cut it into 1 – 2cm strips. Google+

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The chefs at our flagship eatery ‘Chez Yumblog’ are always on the look out for new and exciting ways to add the humble, nutritious and CHEAP chickpea to the menu. Consequently there was much excitement in the kitchen when Pascal le Plongeur nervously presented this recipe to the Kitchen Porter, who passed it on to [...]

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Relax, these are obviously middle-class baked beans which involve overnight soaking, an hour and a half in the oven and plenty of extra virgin olive oil. Google+

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This recipe is from the poetically titled and yet to be published ‘Purple Citrus and Sweet Perfume‘ by Silvena Rowe which was featured in the latest OFM. If this and the other published recipes are anything to go by, this particular publication could well be joining the myriad cookbooks gracing the West Wall of the [...]

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This recipe was the result of a pioneering scientific experiment to recreate something similar to Dr. Karg Crispbreads which, despite their medical honorific and Teutonic wholemeal worthiness are surprisingly tasty and addictive – especially if topped with a wedge of Extra Mature and a dollop of Branston. And so to the experiment…not being experts in this [...]

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Exhausted by the weeks of avoiding the electioneering and depressed at the prospect that this would no doubt be our last weekend under an (admittedly crap) Labour government, we felt the need for something both fortifying and cheery for breakfast. Turning to a small Yotam Ottolenghi recipe book which had recently plopped out of the [...]

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The winter clouds part and in the park a thin ray of sunshine illuminates a single crocus striving to push its trampled head above the prairie of discarded KFC boxes … spring has arrived in Bethnal Green. This beautiful natural wonder heralds the change of the seasons and signifies that perhaps it is time to [...]

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Another slightly involved yet very tasty recipe from the mighty Dan ‘Love Bites’ Lepard. The slightly involved element is both understatement and DL raison d’etre and doubtless all his recipes benefit from the multi-tiered preparation, but SOMETIMES you want to make something you can eat while you can still remember starting the recipe. These are [...]

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Here’s a great idea – why not get up early on Saturday morning and spend an hour baking for a cat? After all it has to be a rewarding experience, our feline colleagues are renowned for their un-fussy attitude to food and the appreciative way they savour every meal lovingly placed before them. What could [...]

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Take one Guardian Weekend magazine and one quandary about what to feed Archaeologist T. Realise that multiple small dishes that can be dipped into at a fixed pace are just the thing. Go to the market and buy fish. The market being a fish stall on Roman Road just round the corner, these fish were [...]

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As with the mackerel, so with the cheese. It was in the same Fearnley-Whittingstall spread* as the potted mackerel and required cheese, butter and a splash of vin rouge or some vine-based glug, thereby having all the markings of a winner about it. The man himself suggested you play with the recipe and use whichever [...]

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If you follow the link you’ll discover this young Gorgonzola came to us from Sardinia via Acton. Roasted Tomato and Gorgonzola Tarts with Balsamic Vinegar Caramel Google+

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Obviously the most productive thing you can do with an egg is lob it into the fat one-eyed face of <nazi cunt>Nick Griffin</nazi cunt>. However, if for some reason he isn’t goose-stepping through your neighbourhood you could do a lot worse than use it to make these delicious and comforting spaghetti fritters. Google+

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One Saturday we decided to get up and do the shopping before breakfast. Hard to imagine, but true. We went to the fish stall round the corner and witnessed it in it’s full bounteous glory. Indeed such was my excitement that I went crazy and bought shrimps for to make potted shrimps. Tis lucky that [...]

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Spelled rarebit. Pronounced rabbit. Tastes delicious. Incidentally this cheesy delight can also be used in the construction of an Illinois delicacy known as a Horseshoe Sandwich (aka Freedom Sandwich). To make one simply take a thick slice of toasted bread and top with a quantity of cooked meat (hamburger/deep fried pork tenderloin/chicken/etc.). Next cascade with [...]

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There’s that fork again. Google+

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This is an easy-to-make, rich-and-tasty treat which merits a place alongside the holy trinity of party dips – houmus, taramasalata and guacamole. Google+

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Another recipe purloined from Dan ‘Pour some sugar on me’ Lepard, which was in turn of other provenance, but such is cooking, dishes are passed from one to another and in doing so they evolve. Talking of Darwin, he was 200 the other day you know and Google honoured this on their homepage. I wonder [...]

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OK, so it looks as if this particular fish had its fingers variously crushed in a freak piscine industrial accident, but they are tasty nevertheless. Tastier than Cap’n Birdseye’s even. Google+

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The first rule of owning a freezer is always have some puff pastry in it. Other than that you can include what you want, though be sure to have at least one novelty ice-cube tray. Here at Yumblog Mansions it’s a toss-up between the Lego piece tray and the green Ampelmann tray, though for the [...]

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