Fuck the Tories
If you are the impulsive sort who starts cooking a dish before fully reading the method, and then 10 minutes before your planned meal time come across the instruction ‘marinade for a fortnight’, then please read the recipe below thoroughly as it contains not only ‘simmer for two hours‘ but also ‘soak overnight‘. That said, forewarned is forearmed, and planning …
As a rule I scroll past any sponsored content appearing in my Facebook timelime (unless of course it’s from Boots in which case I write an angry comment telling them to stop ripping off the NHS and pay their fucking taxes, or Dyson when I inform them Henrys are better, and pay their fucking taxes), however when a Branston* Pickle …
When a succession of veg boxes leaves you with a cumulative glut of lettuces, you come to the realisation that there is only so much you can eat in traditional salad form, and cooking seems to be limited to braised side dishes, either solo or avec pois. But worry not dear reader(s) for there is hope (especially if like me …
We here at Yumblog Villas are always reluctant to post soups (upload, not mail) as they are so simple we fear you might be insulted dear reader(s) and flounce off in one of your famed over-dramatic strops. However, lockdown lends itself to the desire for something comforting and warming and besides we had all the right ingredients in the form …
As I had to line up outside the greengrocers in a long socially-spaced covid queue for over twenty minutes to buy, among other things, these three handsome leeks, I thought they should (in true Masterchef style) be made the ‘star of the dish’. This is a modified, and in my ‘umble opinion, much improved Jme Oliver recipe.
Yumblog Junior rarely gets involved in the cooking process, preferring instead to be the slightly ungrateful and generally underwhelmed recipient of a parent-prepared meal. However pandemics, close proximity, home education and a lot of time to kill, means times are a changing and she’ll be sharing her parents’ enthusiasm for the kitchen whether she likes it or not.
This recipe, such as it is, is based on the ingredients listed on the side of a box of Aldi meusli – the no brand, no frills, no nonsense, no dessicated coconut, budget Swiss-style, German engineered breakfast of choice here at Yumblog Villas. If you’re fortunate enough to live in a lefty bubble like the People’s Republic of Brighton (Hello …
‘So what precisely is kefir?’ I don’t hear you ask. Well according to the top boffins here at Laboratoires Yumblog, kefir is a scientifically proven magic drink packed full of friendly bacteria so affable they’ll transform your stomach into a fragrant wonderland of probiotic loveliness. ‘Hmm, sounds interesting’ you quizzically reply, ‘but by what devilish witchcraft does one contrive this …
As the result of a Christmas spent in France hosted by, among others, Jean-Pierre the moustachioed turophile, we had pretty much vowed to stay away from cheese for long into the new year. That was until, in an idle moment, we happened across this tempting Potato, Leek and Gruyère tart from the ever reliable and inspirational Gourmet Traveller website. Be …
Here’s wishing a ‘Happy New Year’ to all our lovely readers. In many ways 2017 wasn’t the best, but trust me 2018 is going to be great. The Tories will implode under the sheer weight of their incompetence, corruption and lies, Corbyn will march us joyfully towards a new Socialist dawn, Brexit will be cancelled, Greggs will be nationalised, and …
Take a shop bought pitta bread and make it lighter, fluffier, yeastier and generally breadier and you should get the general idea.
Thought it would be safer to put ‘falafels’ in inverted commas as the absence of chickpeas and the inclusion of halloumi, would probably leave us open to criticism from ‘The Guild of Master Falafel Makers‘ as well as purists, pedants, trolls, stupid people and no doubt the odd het up vegan. We here at Yumblog don’t want any trouble, especially as …
Consider the humble chickpea. Nutritious, ubiquitous, tasty, cheap, and as versatile as a 46-piece socket set. It can be stir-fried, casseroled, tagined, enstewed, devilled, saladated, hummouserised, soupified, and in this case, masalaed. If you’re contemplating doing something interesting with a tin of chickpeas this weekend, we here at Yumblog Villas urge you to give this a go.
By far the most prolific and rampant vegetable currently growing in the collective garden here at Yumblog Villas is the courgette. Some have become so pumped up they have started to hang around with the marrows. Two such swaggering beasts constituted the bulk of this refreshing, light yet substantial summer soup. I’ll suggest next year we also grow peas and …
Blimey, looking at the date of the Fondue below, it would appear we haven’t written a post for a year and a half. I would be inclined to feel guilt were it not for the troubling matter of the past 18 months, during which you dear reader(s) seem to have become crazed and in our absence voted for an ugly …
Ooh, the nights are drawing in. A pudding was required for esteemed guests and having banished thoughts of complex custards I alighted on the idea of feeding our friends something sweet and sticky instead, plums and apples away with you and your dull autumnal associations.
Baked stuffed tomatoes from yumblog
If, like us, you thought the tastiest way to deal with a beetroot was to borscht it, you’re in for a treat – this is possibly tastier. Better still, apart from the beetroot and a bit of cream, it can be constructed from what are commonly called ‘store cupboard staples‘.
…or beetroot soup made with leaves. Not knowing whether beetroot leaves are a tasty and nutritious alternative to chard or a toxin filled time bomb of agonising death, I thought I’d better check their edibility before posting this recipe. Turns out they are perfectly benign and not dissimilar to the aforementioned chard.
Hey meat-eaters! Invited a hapless vegetarian over to your barbecue? Why not forego the meat-free delights of (Sp)Asda and surprise them by serving up something which is actually tasty for once – fr’instance, this hearty succulent and colourful burger packed with thought-provoking flavours and textural anomalies!
This is number seven in our occasional series ‘In search of the perfect pasta sauce’, and once again we have turned to our adopted Italian granny Marcella Hazan for inspiration. Thus far she’s rarely let us down.
We have been doubly blessed since we moved here to sunny Brighton, for not only do we now have casual access to a Waitrose, but a mere 20 strides away on the opposite side of the street is the Taj grocer, a large independently owned store offering a cornucopia of (eastern) international ingredients the likes of which we’ve not seen …
Want to start your weekend with a lime zest and a chilli zing? Then look no further than this curious and surprisingly delicious Mexican inspired egg-based brunch. Arriba! Arriba! Andale! Andale!
Turning once again to the esteemed ‘Livre de Cuisine des Monsieurs Hommes’ in search of culinary inspiration, Yumblog Junior chanced upon this complex and controversial confection from disgraced chef de cuisine and one time enfant terrible, Monsieur Fouineur. Hounded by the tabloids and plagued by rumours of espionage and peeping tomfoolery, this once great pâtissier never achieved the same levels …
“Oh Pater, dearest…” exclaimed Yumblog Junior from her preferred leather winged Bergere situated in the Soft Play and Cigar Lounge of The Junior Carlton Club, “It says here in the esteemed ‘Livre de Cuisine des Monsieurs Hommes’ that Chef Marcel Muddle has created the most divine cornflake encrusted Petits Beurres which evidently are the talk of Parisian society! Oh Pater …
There are only 3 shopping days left until Hallowe’en, so why not hot foot it down to your nearest pumpkinorium, grab yourself the largest Cucurbita pepo you can carry and drag it back to the kitchen table, there to prepare it not once, not twice, but thrice-wise as prescribed below – ensouped, seedled and carved.
I’m always reluctant to write up a recipe for soup as it seems far too simple to warrant a post and possibly risks insulting your no doubt exemplary culinary skills dear reader(s). After all, your average soup is usually just a few veg zhuzhed up in olive oil or butter, simmered for 20 mins in stock and liquidised to the …
As much as I love to cook, sometimes it’s a welcome treat to prepare a meal which requires little more effort than a nifty flip of the switch on the Magimix.
A monthly review of this site’s stats shows that in your endless and futile search for all that is novel and inconsequential, on average you lot spend only 11 fleeting and no doubt twitchy seconds reading Yumblog. For fuck’s sake, dear readers, you’re a capricious bunch … sometimes I wonder why we bother. …8, 9, 10, 11, time’s up … …
Obviously when I first eyed a display of Romanesco at the local veg market I mused how the inflorescence had an approximate self-similar character, with the branched meristems making a logarithmic spiral and how it approximated a natural fractal with each bud composed of a series of smaller buds, all arranged in yet another logarithmic spiral. (I don’t need to …
Despite your average British tomato being a Dutch grown, prematurely picked, under-ripe, woolly, anaemic, flavourless, blemish-free and over-chilled orb of disappointment, it’s still hard to get a genuine green tomato in this country… unless of course you live in Yorkshire and grow your own, in which case they’ll ALL be green from lack of sunlight. So when I found a …
Matt the Cat loved this soup (once we’d given her a spoon).
It’s been a while since we’ve borsched a beetroot so when the Hebden Twins paid a brief visit the other morning and dropped off among other home-grown things, these handsome fellows, we knew exactly what to do with them.
The (ish) is there because to be properly Deutsche this should of course contain in some part or many a piggy porcine element, and if our experience of eating out in Berlin is anything to go by, a solitary pineapple chunk. Well you know what potato salad looks like, and it doesn’t photograph pretty, so here is some graffiti from …
The day started with two itinerant cows and ended with a trip back in time to 1978. In between there was a misfuelling which led to three spontaneous guests for dinner. We served them pasta with this simple and deceptively delicious roasted pepper sauce.
…not to be confused with a Vinegaroon which is an ugly and menacing critter you definitely wouldn’t want to share the dinner table with. If you are short of time AND have been lucky enough to get hold of some juicy ripe flavoursome tomatoes (i.e. you live outside the UK) you can skip the whole 1½ – 2 hours slow …
Like the yoghurt, this is our second posting for Labneh and also like the yoghurt this uses a simpler Valentine Warner-inspired process.
It was way back in May 2009 when we first wrote a post on homemade yoghurt – that was 218 miles, 4 houses, 2 floods and one small child ago. I am ashamed to say the whole knit-your-own yoghurt thing was a short lived fad due no doubt to this early technique requiring thermometers, sterilised jars, a Bunsen burner and …
There are as many varieties of flat breads as there are varieties of Heinz products, or indeed bi-pedal humanoid aliens living amongst us – 57*. I can’t vouch for all of them, but this particular variant is tried, tested, easy to make, and very tasty. We laced ours with cumin although you could of course flavour yours with whatever spice …
If you would like to keep a fidgety child amused for an hour AND at the end of it have something tasty to dunk in your tea, this could well be the recipe for you. If you don’t have a child of your own don’t worry, you could always rent one … we hire ours out for £20 an hour …