Forget the mapping of the human genome, the discovery of the Higgs Boson God particle, or the invention of L’Oreal’s age defying Boswelox™, I think we here at Laboratoires Yumblog can humbly announce we have made the single greatest scientific breakthrough since our prehistoric ancestors rubbed two dinosaurs together and conjured up fire. Like many of humanity’s greatest achievements it was the result of luck, circumstance, genius, 80s post-punk pop and six pints of Warsteiner.

We (being me, my co-blogger, and a friend up from that there London 2012) were sitting drunkenly around the kitchen table having just returned from a Scritti Politti gig and pondering what to eat to soak up the lager and send us off to bed to slumber like lions and dream wholesome dreams of Green Gartside. I am in do doubt that what happened next will replace the national curriculum and be the sole subject taught in schools and universities the length and width of the country. Cunningly we combined lightly toasted sourdough, left-over cold potato, olive oil and simple seasoning to produce the greatest ever post-pub, pre-bed, hangover-defying snack of ALL time.

The one thing to remember is NEVER deviate from this recipe in any way. So no substituting extra Virgin olive oil with Flora Lite, Maldon salt with Saxa, and definitely use no bread other than the finest sourdough baked to this recipe.

Preparation time: 3 – 33 minutes depending on how drunk you are
Cooking time: 1 minute max
Makes: as much as you like
Skill level: easy–impossible, again depending how drunk you you are


  • the finest sourdough loaf in the world
  • cold boiled Charlotte potatoes
  • extra virgin olive oil
  • Maldon salt
  • black pepper

Lightly toast your sourdough.

Drizzle with the olive oil.

Slice the potatoes (5mm thick) and layer onto the toast.

Drizzle with more olive oil

Sprinkle with Maldon salt.

Twist over a grinding of black pepper.


Verdict: double carb perfection.

Drink: six pints of lager before, 1 mug of tea during.

Entertainment: Finalising our plans for an innovative new playground-based exercise regime. The parents get a workout and their kids get the fun of being swung, pushed, bounced, chased, thrown and caught. Trust me, it’s going to be the next big thing … working title … ‘Paedocise’.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: