This one goes out to VJ ‘Mr Prudence‘ – anarchist, transphormetic blogger, psychic geographer, algorithmic obsessive and occasional ActionScript guru. The other day he confessed he was in possession of a celeriac and asked what he could possibly do with it. I’m afraid my advice was a dismissive “either mash it or chuck it in the bin”


A melancholic celeriac ponders algorithmic cookery

… so after a little research and by way of recompense, here is a variation on a River Café recipe.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 30 minutes
Skill level: Easy
Serves: 4


  • celeriac – 300g – cubed
  • chestnuts – 300g – cooked and peeled
  • celery – 2 sticks – diced
  • vegetable stock – 1 litre
  • double cream – 100ml
  • garlic – 2 cloves – crushed
  • 2 bay leaves
  • olive oil

Start by cooking the chestnuts in boiling water for around 15 minutes, allow to cool and peel (a fairly tedious process).

Sauté the celeriac and celery in the oil for a few minutes. Next add the garlic, whole peeled chestnuts and bay leaves and continue to cook for a few more minutes.

Add the stock, bring to the boil and simmer for 15 /20 minutes until the celeriac is soft. Liquidise roughly (leaving a few lumps for texture and variety), add the cream, bring up to heat and serve.

lego cream

Now here’s a tip: We don’t use cream very much and so invariably end up with half a tub left over to go fizzy in the fridge. So now we pour any remaining cream into an ice cube tray and freeze for later use. These Lego-shaped ones are very good, although disappointingly can’t be stacked like the real thing.

Verdict: Pretty darn good. Quite a subtle chestnutty flavour with mild celery undertones. However, I didn’t photograph the end result as it was a fairly uninspired beige colour (Pantone 480).

Drink: A pair of Leffe and a single white.

Entertainment: ‘Still Game’, series 2, episode 9, followed by ‘Brazil’. I confess I nodded off before the end though this is by no means a reflexion on the film.


  1. wow, if i wasn’t Mr Prudence myself, i should like to meet this interesting fellow!

    My celeriac was looking more maudlin than yours as increasingly it felt left out, forever imprisioned next to a clump of mutated ginger at the botton of my fridge. He has a freind in Mr Richard now though. I shall set out, with haste, tomorrow to collect the prescribed ingredients.

    BTW ‘A melancholic celeriac ponders algorithmic cookery’ haha, lol, bravo!

  2. Hello again Mr Prudence, now I’ll have find a recipe involving mutated ginger.

    Pleased to hear you lol’ed.

    Feeling any better?


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