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WIN a Pair of Tickets to ‘Taste of London’!!! (CLOSED)

Yumblog in association with ‘Taste of London’ is offering you the chance to win a pair of tickets to the world’s greatest restaurant festival. All you have to do is simply send us hilarious puns which aptly combine ‘food’ with ‘London’. Huh? For example how about ‘Hot Cross Barnes’, ‘Beef Shadwellington’, ‘Rhubarbican’ or possibly ‘Lobster Thermidalston’? Get the idea? We’ve …

Splink

First find a Safe place to cross. Stand on the Pavement near the kerb. Look all around for traffic, and listen. If traffic is coming, then let it pass. When there is No traffic near, walk straight across the road. Keep looking and listening for traffic while you cross. SPLINK! This and many more designs available from our shop

Kwik White Bread

‘Eating lots of white bread raises the risk of a cancer that kills thousands of Britons every year … those who eat five slices a day are almost twice as likely to develop the most common form of kidney cancer compared to those who have one and a half slices.’… or so says that putrid voicepiece of everything that is …

Escalivada

There are scurrilous allegations in today’s papers that Yumblog NEVER signed for Glasgow Rovers and NEVER played a first team game for them – despite saying so repeatedly on TV, radio and in print. Yumblog is sticking with the porkies told in our autobiography ‘Yumble Pie’ that we were in fact the Glasgow giants’ star player and gloriously took them …

Baked Feta Parcel

Yet more allegations that Yumblog, 42, has been having a sordid (and utterly predictable) affair with a desperate publicity-seeking blonde slapper, 37. This is of course untrue, and to prove our innocence we bribed bought Mrs Yumblog, 33, a fucking massive diamond ring from fucking Theo Fennell!

Patatas Bravas

Rumours abound that Yumblog Holdings has breached its banking covenants (whatever that means) and that perhaps the Yumblog franchise is not the cash cow it once used to be. We would like to rigorously refute these allegations and point out that all of our ventures (including Yumblog at Claridges, Yum in Grosvenor Square, Ad Nauseyum on Royal Hospital Road, J.D. …