Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 2-3 hours
Recipe: inspired by/loosely based on Casilda Grigg
Makes: a few jars
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• grapefruit – 1 - washed
• oranges – 3 – washed
• lemons – 2 – washed
• cold water – enough to cover the cut fruit in a big pan
• caster sugar – 500g

Halve/quarter the fruit and place in a pan. Cover with water. Bring to a boil and then simmer for a couple of hours. Top up with water as necessary. The fruit is cooked when the skin squashes easily.

Drain, taking care to keep all of the liquid. Once cooled remove all the flesh and pips and bits from the various fruits, discard.

Slice the citrus peels to the width and length that you would like to appear on your breakfast toast.

Now take your reserved liquid and boil it down to around 600ml. Once this is done add the peels and the sugar to the pan.

Boil until the mixture reaches a temperature of 104 C. At this point you should start testing to see if it’s ready. Dollop a teaspoonful on a cold plate and place in the fridge for 5 minutes. Retrieve from the fridge and see if the surface has formed a wrinkly skin. If no then continue cooking for another 5 minutes and repeat the test until you have a wrinkly mixture. Once this is achieved, decant your marmalade into sterilised jars and seal.

Some citri.

A Creuset of citruses.

The final push to the top chaps.

Verdict: Rather good combo of sharpnesses in one marmalade.

Drink: Tea, for it is breakfast.

Entertainment: The Sausage Sandwich Game on Danny Baker’s 5Live Saturday morning programme. Will it be red sauce, will it be brown sauce or will it be no sauce at all?

Dirty tea towel, or ghostly apparition?

Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Recipe: Rick Stein
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• fresh clams – 1kg
• pine nuts – 30g
• blanched almonds – 30g
• olive oil – 4 tbsp
• slice of crustless white bread – 25g
• garlic cloves – 4
• leaves from a few sprigs of parsley

Best avoid these frozen clams

For the picada, heat a frying pan and dry fry the pine nuts for 1 minute and the almonds for 2 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Next fry the bread in olive oil on both sides until golden brown. Set aside to cool.

Break the fried bread into a mortar (or small food processor), add the toasted nuts and grind to the texture of sand.

Add the garlic, parsley leaves and 2 tbsp of olive oil and continue to grind until you have a thick coarse paste.

Wash the clams in plenty of cold water and discard any which refuse to close when gently tapped.

Find a large pan with a lid and add 4 tbsp of water. Place over a high heat and as soon as the water boils add the clams.

Cover and cook (shaking occasionally) for 1-2 minutes until the clams have opened.

Remove the pan from the heat.

Pour the cooking liquid into the picada and stir to form a thick sauce.

Add to the clams and stir to coat evenly.

Serve immediately with some good bread.

Verdict: A lovely, tasty and unusual dish. Quick and easy enough for a midweek dinner … exotic and tasty enough for a weekend treat.

Drink: Both hop and grape.

Entertainment: Still working our way through the last series of Homicide – Life on the Street.

In space no one can hear you scream

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 1 hour 15 minutes
Recipe: Rick Stein (and countless generations of Spaniards)
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• octopus – about 500g
• waxy potatoes – such as Désirée
• pimentón picante (hot smoked spanish paprika) – ½ tsp
• olive oil
• s & p

Get your local fishmonger to clean and prepare your octopus. You will have a mass of tentacles and the head (which looks like a squid tube)

Pour enough water to comfortably cover the octopus into a large saucepan along with 1 tbsp of sea salt.

Bring to the boil and add the octopus. The octopus will tense and stiffen in a slightly sinister way. Cover and simmer for 45 mins to 1 hour until tender.

Remove the octopus from the pan and set aside to cool. DON’T THROW AWAY THE WATER.

When cool enough to handle cut the tentacles and head into 10mm thick pieces.

Peel the potatoes and cut into wedges.

Bring the octopus water to the boil and add the potatoes. Simmer for 10 minutes or until just tender. Drain.

Heat some olive oil in a large frying pan and add the pimentón picante followed by the potatoes. Toss for a few seconds until completely coated in the red-coloured oil.

Add the octopus and quickly cook until heated through.

Serve immediately with an extra drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt.

Not a photo of an actual Pulpo a la gallega, but a similar clammier dish.

Verdict: Superb. And very simple. The octopus was perfectly tender and in my opinion much tastier than it’s cephalopodic cousin, the squid, it has a deeper, earthier flavour, really very good.

Drink: A pair of Cruzcampo at the local tapas bar (along with a few appetising bowls of pre-dinner tapas). And a bottle of white.

Entertainment: Vintage Floyd in Italy on DVD.

Wuddy and Car – the two most important things in yumblog junior’s life

Yumblog are now on Pinterest (obviously)

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 60 minutes
Recipe: variation on a Dan Lepard
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• rhubarb – 400g
• unsalted butter – 50g
• caster sugar – 75g
• juice of ½ lemon
• dark muscovado sugar – 100g
• black treacle - 50g
• honey – 150g
• ground ginger – 5 tsp
• sour cream – 150g
• 1 medium egg
• wholemeal flour – 200g
• ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

Preheat your oven to 180C/gas mark 4

Line a 20cm round springform cake tin with a single sheet of buttered foil, pressed carefully into the base and up the sides.

Cut the rhubarb into 3-4cm pieces and lay in tight rows across the base of the tin. Sprinkle with the caster sugar and lemon juice.

Put the muscovado in a saucepan with the treacle, honey and ginger, and bring to a boil.

Remove from the heat and pour into a mixing bowl with the butter and sour cream. Stir to combine.

Beat in the egg and then stir in the flour and bicarb.

Bake in the oven for about an hour.

Leave to cool a little before upturning carefully and lifting off the foil.

Verdict: Sweet, tart and gingery. A dollop of cream or a cascade of custard and suddenly it’s pudding.

Drink: Equally good with a mug of tea or a glass of wine.

Entertainment: Point Blank

We decide to get away
And have some fun
Book a room and catch a flight
For two weeks in the sun
She says, “Hawaii’s too expensive.”
I say, “Barbados isn’t bad.”
She says, “I’d love to see Yorkshire”
And I say, “Woman, are you mad!”

Rhubarb Triangle
It makes whippets disappear
Rhubarb Triangle
Don’t go too near
But she doesn’t see my angle
And she thinks I’m being dumb
So Rhubarb Triangle
Here we come!

(That’s enough – Ed)

Yumblog Junior has her first taste of lemon cake

For some reason something went awry with the quantities and we ended up with a considerable amount of the filling left over after we had made our pithiviers, hence this potted version.

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 30 – 35 minutes
Recipe: Simon Hopkinson
Serves: 8
Skill level: easy to medium

Ingredients

For the crème patissière

• milk – 250ml
• caster sugar – 75g
• 3 (free range) egg yolks
• plain flour – 25g
• 1 vanilla pod – cut lengthways

For the chocolatey bit

• unsalted butter – softened – 110g
• caster sugar – 110g
• 2 (small) eggs
• ground almonds – 110g
• cocoa powder – 50g
• plain chocolate – finely chopped – 110g
• dark rum – ½tbsp

First make the crème patissière:

Pour the milk into a saucepan along with the vanilla pod and gently heat to boiling point.

Whisk together the eggs yolks, sugar and flour.

Pour the hot milk over the egg mixture and whisk lightly together.

Return to the heat and cook gently until it thickens.

Pour through a sieve, ditch the vanilla pod and chill.

Next for the chocolatey bit:

Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.

Add the eggs and beat together.

Next add the ground almonds and cocoa powder and beat together.

Now add the rum, crème patissière and chopped chocolate and fold everything together.

(if at this stage you want to make pithiviers, you’ll need to chill the mixture and find yourself a recipe for the pastry)

Spoon into ramekins and chill until ready to cook.

Preheat the oven to 190c/gas mark 5.

Bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes or until they look cooked (use your instincts)

Serve.

Verdict: As you would expect from Simon Hopkinson, this was delicious and VERY rich. The almond and chocolate give a pleasing texture.

Drink: Beer, Cava, red, white, vodka and hot chocolate.

Entertainment: Browsing through ‘The International Male Magazine’ and ‘All-Rubber Slimming Wear’.

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> View the whole filthy set

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Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 12 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: about a dozen, plus lots of tasty trimmings

Ingredients

• butter – softened – 113g
• light brown sugar – 146g
• 1 egg – beaten
• plain flour – 128g
• baking powder – ½tsp
• vanilla extract – 1tsp
• chocolate chips (or chopped up chocolate) – 90g

Preheat your oven to 190°C/Gas Mark 5.

Grease 2 baking sheets.

In a bowl beat together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.

Beat in the egg.

Mix the flour and baking powder together and then stir into the butter mixture.

Add the vanilla extract and stir.

Finally stir in the chocolate chips of your choice.

Spoon dollops of the mixture onto the baking sheets – leave plenty of room between them as they will spread considerably.

Bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes until golden brown.

Leave to cool on a wire rack.

If you want a neater cookie, trim with a cookie cutter (and eat all the trimmings).

Verdict: Crunchy on the outside, chewy in the middle, chocolate throughout. Very good indeed.

Drink: Makes a good dunker.

Entertainment: Sitting on the sofa with a poorly Yumblog Junior watching ‘Timmy Time‘.

Preparation time: 5 – 10 minutes
Cooking time: 30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 6 – 8

Ingredients

• plain flour – 100g
• baking powder – 1tsp
• caster sugar – 1tsp
• 2 free-range eggs – beaten
• milk – 75ml
• sweetcorn kernels (frozen/tinned or ideally fresh) – 350g
• ½ medium red onion – finely chopped
• 1 chilli – finely chopped
• fresh parsley – finely chopped – 2tbsp
• s & p
• a little olive oil for cooking

In a bowl mix together the flour, baking powder and sugar along with some salt and freshly ground black pepper.

In a jug mix together the milk and eggs.

Gradually stir the milk/eggs into the flour mixture to form a batter.

In another bowl mix together the sweetcorn, onion, parsley and chilli and season well.

Add this to the batter and stir everything together.

Heat a little oil in a non-stick frying pan and drop in about 3/4 ladle of the mix. Flatten down a little with spatula and cook for a minute or two until nicely browned on the bottom.

Turn over and cook on the other side.

Flip out onto some kitchen paper and keep warm. Repeat until you have used up all the batter – we ended up with an uneven seven.

Serve with whatever takes your fancy.

Verdict: Sweet and succulent with a hint of chilli heat. Experiment with different flavourings and extras.

Drink: Peroni and some left over white.

Entertainment: We’re back on the streets with Homicide.

Snow comes to Yumblog Cottage