Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Recipe: Rick Stein
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• fresh clams – 1kg
• pine nuts – 30g
• blanched almonds – 30g
• olive oil – 4 tbsp
• slice of crustless white bread – 25g
• garlic cloves – 4
• leaves from a few sprigs of parsley

Best avoid these frozen clams

For the picada, heat a frying pan and dry fry the pine nuts for 1 minute and the almonds for 2 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Next fry the bread in olive oil on both sides until golden brown. Set aside to cool.

Break the fried bread into a mortar (or small food processor), add the toasted nuts and grind to the texture of sand.

Add the garlic, parsley leaves and 2 tbsp of olive oil and continue to grind until you have a thick coarse paste.

Wash the clams in plenty of cold water and discard any which refuse to close when gently tapped.

Find a large pan with a lid and add 4 tbsp of water. Place over a high heat and as soon as the water boils add the clams.

Cover and cook (shaking occasionally) for 1-2 minutes until the clams have opened.

Remove the pan from the heat.

Pour the cooking liquid into the picada and stir to form a thick sauce.

Add to the clams and stir to coat evenly.

Serve immediately with some good bread.

Verdict: A lovely, tasty and unusual dish. Quick and easy enough for a midweek dinner … exotic and tasty enough for a weekend treat.

Drink: Both hop and grape.

Entertainment: Still working our way through the last series of Homicide – Life on the Street.

In space no one can hear you scream

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 1 hour 15 minutes
Recipe: Rick Stein (and countless generations of Spaniards)
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• octopus – about 500g
• waxy potatoes – such as Désirée
• pimentón picante (hot smoked spanish paprika) – ½ tsp
• olive oil
• s & p

Get your local fishmonger to clean and prepare your octopus. You will have a mass of tentacles and the head (which looks like a squid tube)

Pour enough water to comfortably cover the octopus into a large saucepan along with 1 tbsp of sea salt.

Bring to the boil and add the octopus. The octopus will tense and stiffen in a slightly sinister way. Cover and simmer for 45 mins to 1 hour until tender.

Remove the octopus from the pan and set aside to cool. DON’T THROW AWAY THE WATER.

When cool enough to handle cut the tentacles and head into 10mm thick pieces.

Peel the potatoes and cut into wedges.

Bring the octopus water to the boil and add the potatoes. Simmer for 10 minutes or until just tender. Drain.

Heat some olive oil in a large frying pan and add the pimentón picante followed by the potatoes. Toss for a few seconds until completely coated in the red-coloured oil.

Add the octopus and quickly cook until heated through.

Serve immediately with an extra drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt.

Not a photo of an actual Pulpo a la gallega, but a similar clammier dish.

Verdict: Superb. And very simple. The octopus was perfectly tender and in my opinion much tastier than it’s cephalopodic cousin, the squid, it has a deeper, earthier flavour, really very good.

Drink: A pair of Cruzcampo at the local tapas bar (along with a few appetising bowls of pre-dinner tapas). And a bottle of white.

Entertainment: Vintage Floyd in Italy on DVD.

Wuddy and Car – the two most important things in yumblog junior’s life

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 20 – 30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 4

Ingredients

• stale white bread – good stuff, not Mother’s Pride – 50g
• 2 large red peppers
• very ripe tomatoes – skinned – 1kg
• 1 cucumber
• 3 cloves of garlic – crushed
• extra virgin olive oil – 150ml
• red wine or sherry vinegar – 4 tbsp
• salt

For the garnish

• croutons – white bread – cut into small squares and fried in olive oil
• green pepper – cut into a small dice
• cucumber – cut into a small dice
• spring onions – finely chopped

Preheat your oven to 220c (gas 7)

Put the red peppers on a baking sheet and roast in the oven for 20-30 minutes until the skin is black and blistered. (You’ll need to turn them a few times to ensure an even roasting)

Place in a plastic bag (or bowl covered in clingfilm) and leave to sweat until cool enough to handle.

Remove the stalk, seeds and skin, roughly chop and set aside (be sure to keep any juice as this all adds to the flavour).

Meanwhile, pour some water over the stale bread and set aside for half an hour to soak.

Quarter the skinned tomatoes and scoop out the seeds into a sieve over a bowl. Squash down on the seeds with the back of a ladle to extract as much of the juice as you can.

Peel the cucumber, cut in half lengthways and scoop out the seeds with a teaspoon (discard seeds) and roughly chop.

Put the tomatoes, their juice, roasted peppers, chopped cucumber, soaked bread, crushed garlic, vinegar, olive oil and 1½ teaspoons of salt into a liquidizer and blend until smooth. YOU MAY HAVE TO DO THIS IN 2 BATCHES, depending on the capacity of your liquidizer.

Thin with a little cold water if necessary (we didn’t), check and adjust the seasoning, pour into a serving bowl and place in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

Serve with the garnishes and a further drizzle of olive oil.

Verdict: Fandabbydozy. Liquid summer. A classic gazpachio.

Drink: Fandabbyboozy. A few Cornish ales on the grass outside The Palm Tree.

Entertainment: Back home in time for ‘Dad’s Army’.

Don’t tell Social Services – Yumblog Junior downs a pint in 8.75 seconds

In the spirit of TGC and because there seems little point in writing up something that is so current, click on this link or scan the ‘Quick Response’ code below for the full list of ingredients and recipe.

We stuck pretty close to the published recipe, the only difference being the use of cherry tomatoes rather than the plums.

Verdict: For such a simple dish with so few ingredients, this packs a powerful flavour punch. Sweet, sweet, sweet (and a little salty). Truly superb

Drink: Tuesday night is temperance night.

Entertainment: The beginning of the 5th season of ‘Ideal’. Utter joy. The soundtrack is excellent too, if you manage to find a copy.

Again, click here for the recipe.

As we were making this along side the Piedmontese peppers we couldn’t use the grill and so we baked the aubergines (30-40 minutes) instead.

Verdict: It was this dish’s misfortune to be served up along side the now legendary Piedmontese peppers and as a result paled slightly in comparison. That said, it is still very very good. Be generous with the feta and don’t be as cautious with the seasoning as suggested.

Drink: See Piedmontese peppers

Entertainment: Ditto Piedmontese peppers

Well, most of it went on a rather delicioso tapas dinner of which this constituted a tasty third, accompanied by patatas bravas and a tonne of clams cooked in wine and garlic.

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 25 – 30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• 1 onion – thinly sliced
• 1 red pepper – thinly sliced
• 6 largish tomatoes – roughly chopped
• 1 garlic clove – very thinly sliced
• extra-virgin olive oil – a generous slug
• hot smoked paprika (Pimentón picante) – ½ tsp (or to taste)
• fresh herbs such as parsley/oregano/thyme – finely chopped – handful
• 2 tuna steaks
• flour – a dusting
• salt & pepper

Heat the oil in a deep frying pan, add the onions and sauté for a few minutes until beginning to soften.

Add the pepper, tomato, garlic and smoked paprika, season and cook over a lowish heat for 15 minutes by which time everything should be soft and saucy.

Meanwhile lightly coat the tuna steaks in seasoned flour.

Heat some olive oil in a frying pan, add the tuna and cook on both sides for a couple of minutes. The tuna should be thoroughly cooked for this dish, not pink. Set aside.

When your sauce is ready, taste and season if necessary. Stir in the chopped herbs.

Lay the cooked tuna steaks on top of the sauce, cover with a lid and cook gently for a further 10 minutes. (If at anytime the sauce looks like it is getting a little dry, add a splash of water)

Serve as a main with good bread and a salad, or part of a tapas (we ate ours with clams cooked in wine and garlic and patatas bravas).

Verdict: This is a simple recipe which generously rewards with fresh sweet mediterranean flavours. The tuna remains moist and tender despite its relatively long cooking time. Very good indeed. Leftovers are also good eaten cold the next day.

Drink: The £4.40 pints of lager at the newly refurbished (and less cosy) Empress of India, a bottle of Golden Virgin, a few cans of Polish and the rest of the cooking wine.

Entertainment: ‘Inception’ on DVD. A sort of Matrix for grown-ups. Good stuff although a tad difficult to follow if like us you are suffering (ironically) from extreme sleep deprivation.

Yumblog Junior stands freestyle for the first time

In the unlikely event you come across a bunch of white asparagus in your local Spasda Superstore, don’t be tempted to give it a try as let us assure you it is an indifferent and woody subordinate to the familiar and far superior green variety (Grünspargel).

At the time of writing we are basking in the glory of the English asparagus season*, so in order to make the most of this short eight week period, we intend to eat it at every conceivable opportunity. This potato and asparagus frittata provided one such opportunity.

*More reason to celebrate than any stupid fucking royal wedding.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 25-35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2** – 4

Ingredients

• potatoes – peeled and cut into 1cm cubes – 400g
• 1 onion – finely sliced
• 6 free range eggs – beaten
• bunch of asparagus (woody ends snapped off) – cut into 3cm lengths – about 400g
• parmigiano reggiano – grated – a generous 30g
• olive oil – 2 tbsp
• fresh parsley – finely chopped – 2 generous tbsp
• s and p

Find yourself a 9″ skillet or non-stick, ovenproof frying pan.

Pour in the oil and place over a low heat.

Add the potatoes and onion and season well.

Cover with a lid and cook for about 15 minutes (stirring occasionally) until the potatoes are cooked through.

Preheat the grill to high.

Add the asparagus to the potatoes, cover again and cook for about five more minutes until the asparagus is cooked but still has a slight crunch.

Taste and season again if necessary.

Season the beaten eggs and pour into the frying pan. Chuck in the pasrley too.

Cook for a further 5 minutes.

Scatter with the parmigiano reggiano and place under the grill for 3–4 minutes, until set and golden.

Turn out onto a serving plate and sprinkle with a little more parmigiano reggiano.

Serve warm or cold with a hearty salad and good crusty bread (and possibly more asparagus).

Lechera – condensed milk, a shot of espresso and milk foam.

Verdict: Deeeeeeeeelicious. A tasty, substantial and easy midweek meal. Couldn’t recommend it highly enough. **We had plenty left over for a packed lunch the following day.

Drink: Our only day of temperance this week.

Entertainment: An episode from the 4th(?) series of ‘Homicide: Life on the Street’. The one featuring an evil Frodo Baggins.

Yumblog Junior settles in nicely to Berlin café society

As well as the excellent fishmonger where we bought the salt cod for this recipe, the ‘village’ boasts a quality butcher, greengrocer, delicatessen, wine merchant and chippy, plus the usual array of gastros, watering holes and restaurants. On the downside it is almost entirely populated by Bugaboo pushing interlopers who radiate the complacent sense of entitlement common among those who consider their birthright to be a life of ease and privilege.

Where do you go when you feel out of place on both sides of the tracks?

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 24 hours soaking
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 8 – 12 as part of a tapas

Ingredients

• salt cod – 500g
• 1 largish potato – 175g
• milk – 200ml
• extra virgin olive oil – 160ml
• 3 garlic cloves – finely chopped
• juice of a lemon
• black pepper

Soak the cod in cold water for 24 hours – with several changes of water.

Cut the potato into chunks and boil in water until cooked. Drain, mash and keep warm.

Meanwhile place the cod in a pan, cover with cold water, bring to a boil and then turn off the heat. Leave for five minutes and then remove the skin and bones.

Pour the milk into a small saucepan, add the garlic and warm through over a low heat.

At the same time warm through the olive oil.

Place the cod in a food processor and blitz until smooth. Gradually (and alternately) add the milk and oil to form a loose paste.

Add the mashed potato and quickly mix together – do not over-process or it will become like wallpaper paste.

Stir in the lemon juice.

Season with plenty of black pepper – you’ll probably not need to add any more salt.

Serve with slices of good quality baguette.

Verdict: The heavy use of olive oil makes this a very rich dish which is best eaten in moderation and as part of a wider selection of tapas. The flavour is quite unusual and distinct and possibly not to everyone’s taste.

Drink: Somehow we managed to stick with the beer and not open the bottle of red.

Entertainment: ‘Nil By Mouth’ on DVD. 82 varied and judicious uses of the ‘cunt’ word.

Actually we’ve never been to Mexico or a ‘shoot’, but it seems in all likelihood plausible to imagine that this might seemingly be quite like the sort of thing we could have possibly done, perhaps.

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 4

Ingredients*

• 4 corn on the cob
• parmesan cheese – grated – 2 tbsp
• mayonnaise – 3 tbsp
• 1 lime
• sweet paprika – ½tsp
• chilli powder – to taste
• sea salt
• plus 4 wooden skewers

* Quantities are vague and down to personal taste

Strip down your corn cobs (assuming they are leaf-clad) and cook in boiling salted water for 10 minutes, or until done.

(Alternatively, if it’s sunny, cook outside on the BBQ)

Meanwhile mix together the mayonnaise with half the lime juice and spread on a plate.

Mix together the cheese, paprika and chilli and spread out on another plate.

When the sweetcorn is ready, remove from the water, dry with a clean tea towel and ‘skewer with a skewer’.

First roll your cobs in the mayonnaise and then the cheese ensuring they are coated thoroughly.

Sprinkle with a little more sea salt and paprika.

Serve immediately with a wedge of lime.

Verdict: There was never really any doubt that these were going to be anything other than delicious. It’s dirty food, but it’s good food.

Drink: M&S Belgian lager.

Entertainment: ‘Celebrity Masterchef’, episode 2. Little has changed (Brilliant!) although Gregg and John are no longer allowed to say a dish needs more salt… they have to say it needs more ‘seasoning’. No, really.

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 30 – 50 minutes
Skill level: very easy
Serves: enough for 2 – 4 people as part of a larger mezze

Ingredients

• Anaheim peppers – about 21 (or 2 large red peppers)
• anchovy fillets in extra virgin olive oil – 50g (small tin)
• 1 red onion – thinly sliced into rings
• 5 salted black olives – stoned
• 2 tomatoes – sliced (optional)
• capers – 1 tbsp
• extra virgin olive oil – a good slug
• a squeeze of lemon juice
• freshly ground black pepper

Pre-heat the oven to 200c (gas mark 6).

Cut the peppers in half, remove the seeds and pith and place in an oven dish.

Add the onion rings, tomato and anchovies (including the anchovy oil)

Sprinkle over the capers and olives and drizzle with more olive oil.

Add a few twists of black pepper and mix it all together with your hands to ensure everything is coated in oil.

Place in the oven and cook for 30-50 minutes or until the peppers are beginning to wrinkle and blacken.

Remember to stir occasionally so that everything cooks evenly.

Remove from the oven and squeeze over a little lemon juice.

Allow to cool and eat warm/cold.

Verdict: Boy, these are good. Eaten cold they are a sweet, salty, chewy, peppery treat.

Drink: Golden Ales

Entertainment: The ever watchable (apart from the Simon King bits) ‘Springwatch’.