Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 30 minutes soaking
Cooking time: 35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• mushrooms (we used portabello from our bargain box) – roughly chopped – 800g
• dried porcini – reconstituted (retain the soaking water) – small handful
• 2 large shallots (or 1 posh onion) – finely chopped
• 2 cloves of garlic – finely chopped
• butter – 50g
• vegetable stock – 800ml
• milk – 400ml
• olive oil
• s and p
• double cream, crème fraiche or yoghurt – to serve
• juice and zest of half a lemon – to serve

Start by soaking your porcini in just warm water for at least 30 minutes. Strain the soaking water through a sieve lined with kitchen paper and set aside. Roughly chop the porcini and also set aside.

In a large heavy-bottomed pan, sweat the shallots (or onion) and garlic in the butter until soft (but not coloured).

Add the chopped mushrooms and continue to sweat down until they are soft.

Add the porcini, soaking water, stock and milk and simmer uncovered for about 20 minutes.

Here at Yumblog we pride ourselves on offering you, dear reader, choice. So at this stage you have three options depending on your fancy. You can either liquidise half the soup and return it to the pan for a rough texture, liquidise all of the soup for a smoother texture, or liquidise all the soup and then pass through a sieve for a texture smoother than Smooth Jack McSmooth lounging in a velvet smoking jacket.

Which ever you choose, return the soup to the pan, bring back up to heat, taste and season with salt and black pepper.

Finally, mix together the lemon juice and zest with a sprinkling of salt and a twist of pepper.

Serve the soup with a blob of cream (or crème fraiche or yoghurt) and a splash of the lemon mixture.

Verdict: This, like most mushroom-heavy recipes, is necessarily brown and therefore not particularly pretty, and so is probably a dish to cook for yourself rather than serve up to guests (or Michelle Roux Jr) as the centre-piece of a swanky dinner party. However, don’t be put off by its tawny appearance, as this is a very tasty soup indeed.

Drink: A strong mug of lunchtime tea. It must be something to do with the water but tea definitely brews stronger up north.

Entertainment: Watching the constant parade of dogs (and their walkers) outside our window.

* Damp was his profession, not his demeanour.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• 1 head of celery – chopped – about 700g (keep any leaves for a garnish)
• 1 largish onion – finely chopped
• 1 clove of garlic – finely chopped
• a small bunch of parsley – finely chopped
• vegetable stock – 1 litre
• single cream – 100ml (you can also use crème fraiche or full-fat milk)
• olive oil
• nutmeg – a good pinch
• s and p

Pour some oil into a large heavy-bottomed saucepan and add the celery, onion and garlic.

Sweat over a gentle heat for about 15 minutes until the vegetables are soft but not coloured.

Add the stock, parsley and nutmeg along with a generous twist of black pepper.

Simmer for about 15 minutes.

Pour into a liquidiser and blitz until smooth.

Pass though a sieve back into the saucepan. Use the back of a ladle to squash as much liquid (and flavour) out of the fibre.

Pour in the cream and bring back to temperature.

Serve with an extra drizzle of cream and a sprinkling of chopped celery leaves.

Verdict: Celery is usually just a secondary player in many soups, so it’s nice to put it front of stage for once… and it doesn’t disappoint. In fact it shines… a clean, smooth, surprisingly sophisticated soup.

Drink: N/A at lunchtime.

Entertainment: Radcliffe and Maconie

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 20 – 30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 4

Ingredients

• stale white bread – good stuff, not Mother’s Pride – 50g
• 2 large red peppers
• very ripe tomatoes – skinned – 1kg
• 1 cucumber
• 3 cloves of garlic – crushed
• extra virgin olive oil – 150ml
• red wine or sherry vinegar – 4 tbsp
• salt

For the garnish

• croutons – white bread – cut into small squares and fried in olive oil
• green pepper – cut into a small dice
• cucumber – cut into a small dice
• spring onions – finely chopped

Preheat your oven to 220c (gas 7)

Put the red peppers on a baking sheet and roast in the oven for 20-30 minutes until the skin is black and blistered. (You’ll need to turn them a few times to ensure an even roasting)

Place in a plastic bag (or bowl covered in clingfilm) and leave to sweat until cool enough to handle.

Remove the stalk, seeds and skin, roughly chop and set aside (be sure to keep any juice as this all adds to the flavour).

Meanwhile, pour some water over the stale bread and set aside for half an hour to soak.

Quarter the skinned tomatoes and scoop out the seeds into a sieve over a bowl. Squash down on the seeds with the back of a ladle to extract as much of the juice as you can.

Peel the cucumber, cut in half lengthways and scoop out the seeds with a teaspoon (discard seeds) and roughly chop.

Put the tomatoes, their juice, roasted peppers, chopped cucumber, soaked bread, crushed garlic, vinegar, olive oil and 1½ teaspoons of salt into a liquidizer and blend until smooth. YOU MAY HAVE TO DO THIS IN 2 BATCHES, depending on the capacity of your liquidizer.

Thin with a little cold water if necessary (we didn’t), check and adjust the seasoning, pour into a serving bowl and place in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

Serve with the garnishes and a further drizzle of olive oil.

Verdict: Fandabbydozy. Liquid summer. A classic gazpachio.

Drink: Fandabbyboozy. A few Cornish ales on the grass outside The Palm Tree.

Entertainment: Back home in time for ‘Dad’s Army’.

Don’t tell Social Services – Yumblog Junior downs a pint in 8.75 seconds

In the spirit of TGC and because there seems little point in writing up something that is so current, click on this link or scan the ‘Quick Response’ code below for the full list of ingredients and recipe.

We stuck pretty close to the published recipe, the only difference being the use of cherry tomatoes rather than the plums.

Verdict: For such a simple dish with so few ingredients, this packs a powerful flavour punch. Sweet, sweet, sweet (and a little salty). Truly superb

Drink: Tuesday night is temperance night.

Entertainment: The beginning of the 5th season of ‘Ideal’. Utter joy. The soundtrack is excellent too, if you manage to find a copy.

This soup kicked off the four courses and is a variation (and dare I say improvement) on a Valentine Warner recipe from the highly recommended ‘What to Eat Now: Spring and Summer’.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20 – 25 minutes
Skill level: straightforward if a little faffy for a soup
Serves: 4 as a starter

Ingredients

• 1 large shallot – finely dices
• 1 large cucumber
• fresh podded garden peas – 220g (keep the pods)
• 1 large round lettuce
• butter – 25g
• 2 garlic clove – crushed and chopped
• nutmeg – ¼ tsp or a good grating
• vegetable stock – 400ml
• lemon juice – squeeze
• a handful of cooked prawns
• créme fraîche – 4tbsp
• salt & pepper

Pod the peas.

Next put the pea pods into a saucepan along with the stock, bring to the boil and simmer for 5-8 minutes until the pods are tender.

Remove from the heat and when cool enough to handle, pour into a liquidiser.

Liquidise thoroughly and then pass through a sieve into a bowl. Use the back of a ladle to force as much of the liquid out of the pulp. Set aside.

Melt the butter in a medium-sized saucepan and add the chopped shallot and garlic. Cook for about 8 minutes or until translucent but not coloured.

Peel the cucumber, cut in half  lengthways and scoop out (and discard) the seeds. Roughly chop and add to the pan along with the nutmeg and some generous seasoning.

Cook over a medium heat for a further 3-4 minutes until soft and translucent.

Add the peas and the sieved pea pod/stock mixture, cover and simmer gently for 7 or so minutes until the peas are tender. Take care not to overcook.

Remove from the heat and when cool enough to handle, pour into a liquidiser and blitz thoroughly until smooth.

Leave in the liquidiser to cool.

Meanwhile separate the lettuce leaves from the stalk, keeping the stalk as this will add to the flavour (just trim off any brown).

Rinse the leaves and stalk thoroughly in a sieve, drain and roughly chop.

When the soup is cool, add the lettuce and stalk and liquidise until smooth – you’ll probably have to do this in stages as the lettuce is quite bulky.

Add a squeeze of lemon juice, taste and adjust the seasoning.

Pass through a fine sieve into a suitable container and chill in the fridge.

Remove from the fridge and hour before serving as you don’t want it so cold you lose the flavour. Stir in the créme fraîche, taste and adjust the seasoning if necessary.

Ladel into the serving bowls and float on a few prawns.

Serve and enjoy.

Verdict: Liquid summer. The use of the pea pods was my audacious ‘improvement’ and I feel it added considerably to the depth of peaness in this soup. The prawns are not essential, however as well as being pretty they also add nice little sweet nuggets of fishiness to the whole experience.

Drink: A good bottle of red from the Frenchman, a not so good bottle of white from the Englishman.

Entertainment: Talk of Rome, Paris and Todmorden.

Yumblog Junior discovers cherries

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
Skill level: very easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• farfalle – 220g
• bag of spinach – 250g
• basil – generous handful
• 1 garlic clove – crushed
• extra-virgin olive oil – a slug
• nutmeg – ¼ tsp
• ricotta 150g
• parmigiano reggiano – finely grated – 20g
• salt & pepper

Cook the pasta as you normally would (al dente).

Meanwhile, to make the sauce, put 225g of spinach, the basil, garlic, olive oil and nutmeg in a food processor and whiz.

Add the ricotta and most of the parmigiano reggiano and whiz again to a smoothish paste. Season to taste.

Drain the pasta and stir in the remaining spinach so the leaves wilt.

Add the sauce and stir to warm through.

Serve with the remaining parmigiano reggiano.

Serving suggestion (not recommended)

Verdict: Quick, easy and tasty … perfect midweek dining fare.

Drink: A Wednesday evening build up to the weekend bottle of white.

Entertainment: * ’2012′ on DVD. Utter tosh.

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 1 hour 20 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 3 – 4

Ingredients

• 1 onion – finely chopped
• 1 carrot – finely chopped
• 1 celery stalk – finely chopped
• 1 garlic clove – finely chopped
• puy lentils – 250g
• butternut squash – peeled and cut into wedges – 250g
• 2 sprigs of rosemary (optional)
• 1 tin of chopped Italian tomatoes – 400g
• half a preserved lemon – rinsed, flesh discarded, rind thinly sliced
• harissa – 2 tsp (or to taste)
• 2 bay leaves
• tomato puree (or ketchup) – 1tbsp
• lemon juice – squeeze
• olive oil – good slug
• butter – knob
• s & p
• PLUS Greek yoghurt and coriander to serve

“You puny Earthlings are no match for me!”

Preheat your oven to 200C/gas mark 6.

Place the butternut squash on a baking tray, scatter with rosemary and drizzle with olive oil.

Roast in the oven until soft and golden (about 30 minutes). Remove and discard the rosemary. Set aside.

Meanwhile, heat some olive oil and butter in a large heavy bottomed saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onion and saute (stirring occasionally) until soft and golden (8-10 minutes).

Then add the carrot, celery and garlic and continue cooking until soft and golden (8-10 minutes).

Next add the lentils, bay leaves and 1 litre of water. Bring to the boil and simmer gently for 20 minutes.

Add the roasted butternut squash, chopped tomatoes and tomato puree, season with salt and pepper and simmer until the lentils are very tender (20-30 minutes).

Add the preserved lemon, a handful of chopped coriander and harissa to taste and cook for a further 10 minutes.

Squeeze in a little lemon juice, taste and adjust the seasoning.

Serve immediately with a blob of yoghurt and an extra sprinkling of coriander.

You might need some bread to mop the plate.

Verdict: A scrumptiously thick and hearty beast packed with lentil earthiness, chilli heat and lemon zestiness. Please don’t skip the yoghurt and coriander as they are essential components of this dish.

Drink: A Wa’ro red.

Entertainment: How about a bit of genius from Ian Dury:

In the unlikely event you come across a bunch of white asparagus in your local Spasda Superstore, don’t be tempted to give it a try as let us assure you it is an indifferent and woody subordinate to the familiar and far superior green variety (Grünspargel).

At the time of writing we are basking in the glory of the English asparagus season*, so in order to make the most of this short eight week period, we intend to eat it at every conceivable opportunity. This potato and asparagus frittata provided one such opportunity.

*More reason to celebrate than any stupid fucking royal wedding.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 25-35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2** – 4

Ingredients

• potatoes – peeled and cut into 1cm cubes – 400g
• 1 onion – finely sliced
• 6 free range eggs – beaten
• bunch of asparagus (woody ends snapped off) – cut into 3cm lengths – about 400g
• parmigiano reggiano – grated – a generous 30g
• olive oil – 2 tbsp
• fresh parsley – finely chopped – 2 generous tbsp
• s and p

Find yourself a 9″ skillet or non-stick, ovenproof frying pan.

Pour in the oil and place over a low heat.

Add the potatoes and onion and season well.

Cover with a lid and cook for about 15 minutes (stirring occasionally) until the potatoes are cooked through.

Preheat the grill to high.

Add the asparagus to the potatoes, cover again and cook for about five more minutes until the asparagus is cooked but still has a slight crunch.

Taste and season again if necessary.

Season the beaten eggs and pour into the frying pan. Chuck in the pasrley too.

Cook for a further 5 minutes.

Scatter with the parmigiano reggiano and place under the grill for 3–4 minutes, until set and golden.

Turn out onto a serving plate and sprinkle with a little more parmigiano reggiano.

Serve warm or cold with a hearty salad and good crusty bread (and possibly more asparagus).

Lechera – condensed milk, a shot of espresso and milk foam.

Verdict: Deeeeeeeeelicious. A tasty, substantial and easy midweek meal. Couldn’t recommend it highly enough. **We had plenty left over for a packed lunch the following day.

Drink: Our only day of temperance this week.

Entertainment: An episode from the 4th(?) series of ‘Homicide: Life on the Street’. The one featuring an evil Frodo Baggins.

Yumblog Junior settles in nicely to Berlin café society

Preparation time: 1 minute
Cooking time: 10 – 15 minutes
Skill level: if you can open a box you should find this easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• small round of Camembert (don’t bother buying anything too expensive, supermarket own brand should be fine) – usually 225g
• fresh thyme
• garlic
• olive oil

Preheat the oven to 200C (gas mark 6)

Take the Camembert from its box and remove the paper wrapper.

Return to the box.

Stud the top of the cheese with small sprigs of thyme (or rosemary) and shards of garlic.

Drizzle with olive oil (because obviously a lump of cheese isn’t fatty enough)

Place on a baking tray (without the box lid) and bake for 10 – 15 minutes.

Serve immediately with something suitably dippy – we had garlic bread and purple sprouting broccoli.

Daisy is introduced to her first cigar

Verdict: You probably don’t need me to tell you what melted Camembert tastes like. A cheesy Sunday evening fat fest of pure delight.

Drink: Various lagers from Belgium, Italy and Germany.

Entertainment: The first of a ‘Waking the Dead’ two-parter. Spence has gone casual.

In mitigation, the beetroot recipe herewith was only on the second page, so quite understandably I assumed at this early stage the cookery writer still had some enthusiasm for the project and was laying down some of his/her best tried and tested recipes. Even forgiving the clumsy translation of quantities into folksy American measurements such as the Cup, the Lickety Split*, the Kit and Caboodle, the Hither And Yon, and the imperial Reckoning, it was clear this dish was not going to work. So the following recipe is the result of interpretation, intuition, experience and ironically, quite a lot of reckonin’.

* 1 Lickety Split = 16 Varmints or 3/4 of a Ruination. It is generally considered to be an archaic term which these days is limited to the measurement of Grits, Vittles and Rookus Juice.

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 40 minutes
Skill level: easy (although needs constant attention)
Serves: 4 for a starter, 2 as a main

Ingredients

• 1 medium red onion – thinly sliced
• 1 medium carrot – coursely grated
• 1 medium/large beetroot – coursely grated
• vegetable stock – 750ml
• red wine – 100ml
• butter – big knob
• olive oil – decent splash
• arborio rice – 200g
• sour cream – 2 tbsp (or to taste)
• s & p
• chopped chives – for garnish

Start by mixing up your vegetable stock, pouring it into a saucepan and putting it on the backburner on a gentle simmer.

Next melt the butter with the oil in a large, deep frying pan and gently fry the onion, carrot and beetroot for about 10 minutes until they are just beginning to soften.

Add the rice and cook, stirring for a couple of minutes, ensuring that it is thoroughly coated in the vegetable mixture.

Add the red wine and cook gently, stirring, until absorbed.

Add a ladle of stock, and continue cooking and stirring until absorbed.

Repeat this process until all the stock has been used and the rice is creamy and tender with a slight bite in the middle. This should take around 25 minutes.

Taste and season.

Serve immediately with a blob of sour cream (essential) and a few chopped chives (optional – who ever has chives unless from the garden?)

Verdict: A sweet, subtle and spectacularly red dish.

Drink: A Dab, a Meantime and a bottle of Wa’ro red.

Entertainment: The second (and for us the final) episode of BBC One’s sci-fi saga ‘Outcasts’. Dull meets duller … in space.