Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Recipe: Rick Stein
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• fresh clams – 1kg
• pine nuts – 30g
• blanched almonds – 30g
• olive oil – 4 tbsp
• slice of crustless white bread – 25g
• garlic cloves – 4
• leaves from a few sprigs of parsley

Best avoid these frozen clams

For the picada, heat a frying pan and dry fry the pine nuts for 1 minute and the almonds for 2 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Next fry the bread in olive oil on both sides until golden brown. Set aside to cool.

Break the fried bread into a mortar (or small food processor), add the toasted nuts and grind to the texture of sand.

Add the garlic, parsley leaves and 2 tbsp of olive oil and continue to grind until you have a thick coarse paste.

Wash the clams in plenty of cold water and discard any which refuse to close when gently tapped.

Find a large pan with a lid and add 4 tbsp of water. Place over a high heat and as soon as the water boils add the clams.

Cover and cook (shaking occasionally) for 1-2 minutes until the clams have opened.

Remove the pan from the heat.

Pour the cooking liquid into the picada and stir to form a thick sauce.

Add to the clams and stir to coat evenly.

Serve immediately with some good bread.

Verdict: A lovely, tasty and unusual dish. Quick and easy enough for a midweek dinner … exotic and tasty enough for a weekend treat.

Drink: Both hop and grape.

Entertainment: Still working our way through the last series of Homicide – Life on the Street.

In space no one can hear you scream

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 1 hour 15 minutes
Recipe: Rick Stein (and countless generations of Spaniards)
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• octopus – about 500g
• waxy potatoes – such as Désirée
• pimentón picante (hot smoked spanish paprika) – ½ tsp
• olive oil
• s & p

Get your local fishmonger to clean and prepare your octopus. You will have a mass of tentacles and the head (which looks like a squid tube)

Pour enough water to comfortably cover the octopus into a large saucepan along with 1 tbsp of sea salt.

Bring to the boil and add the octopus. The octopus will tense and stiffen in a slightly sinister way. Cover and simmer for 45 mins to 1 hour until tender.

Remove the octopus from the pan and set aside to cool. DON’T THROW AWAY THE WATER.

When cool enough to handle cut the tentacles and head into 10mm thick pieces.

Peel the potatoes and cut into wedges.

Bring the octopus water to the boil and add the potatoes. Simmer for 10 minutes or until just tender. Drain.

Heat some olive oil in a large frying pan and add the pimentón picante followed by the potatoes. Toss for a few seconds until completely coated in the red-coloured oil.

Add the octopus and quickly cook until heated through.

Serve immediately with an extra drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt.

Not a photo of an actual Pulpo a la gallega, but a similar clammier dish.

Verdict: Superb. And very simple. The octopus was perfectly tender and in my opinion much tastier than it’s cephalopodic cousin, the squid, it has a deeper, earthier flavour, really very good.

Drink: A pair of Cruzcampo at the local tapas bar (along with a few appetising bowls of pre-dinner tapas). And a bottle of white.

Entertainment: Vintage Floyd in Italy on DVD.

Wuddy and Car – the two most important things in yumblog junior’s life

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 2 days to cure
Cooking time: none
Skill level: easy
Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 2 fresh salmon fillets (skin on) – 400g
• 2 medium sized raw beetroots – grated
• course sea salt – 40g
• caster sugar – 40g
• fresh dill finely chopped – small bunch
• horseradish sauce – 75g

Place the salmon skin side down on a piece of clingfilm.

Mix together all the other ingredients and rub this mixture onto the fish.

Sandwich with the other fillet, skin side up.

Tightly wrap in the 3-4 layers of clingfilm.

Lay in a shallow dish (there will be some leakage), put a saucer/small tray/tin lid/etc. on top and weigh down with something heavyish (Bible/bowling ball/etc.)

Place in the fridge for 2-3 days, turning every 12 hours so the briny cure liquid thoroughly permeates the fish.

Unwrap, slice thinnish and enjoy with some horseradish sauce.

Gravalax will keep in the fridge for around 5 days.

Verdict: Although all three gravali were excellent, this beetroot option clearly stood out as the best. Sweet, beetrooty and bright pink.

Drink: Some sparkling, some red, some white and some dessert.

Entertainment: Listening to the ramblings of Mad Auntie T

This year Santa delivered Yumblog Junior a little extra Christmas treat – Chicken Pox.

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 2 days to cure
Cooking time: none
Skill level: ridiculously easy
Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 2 fresh salmon fillets (skin on) – 400g
• caster sugar – 40g
• coarse sea salt – 40g
• 1 star anise – seeds removed and crushed
• coriander seeds – crushed – 2tsp
• fresh coriander – a few stalks – roughly chopped
• fresh ginger – roughly chopped – 1cm piece
• mirin (or dry sherry) – 1tbsp

Place one piece of salmon skin side down on a piece of clingfilm.

Mix together all the other ingredients and rub this mixture onto the fish.

Place the other piece of fish on top, skin side up.

Tightly wrap in 3-4 layers of clingfilm.

Lay in a shallow dish (there will be some leakage), put a saucer/small tray/tin lid/etc. on top and weigh down with something heavyish.

Place in the fridge for 2-3 days, turning every 12 hours so the briny cure liquid permeates throughout the fish.

Unwrap, slice thinnish and enjoy with some thin strips of cucumber and a horseradish sauce.

Gravalax will keep in the fridge for around 5 days.

Verdict: Spicier (obviously) than gravalax #1. Tasty.

Drink: A shot or two of iced Vodka.

Entertainment: We had a guest, so technically we were the entertainment.

Box of shame

Having recently made this magnificently delicious crab tart by Rick Stein, for comparison and out of the need for more double cream in our diet we turned to Simon Hopkinson.

Preparation time: 10 minutes – 4 hours (depending on your crab butchery skills)
Cooking time: 1 hour – 1 hour 15 minutes
Skill level: medium
Serves: 4

Ingredients

For the pastry case

• plain flour – 110g
• butter – cut into cubes – 50g
• 1 egg yolk
• pinch o’ salt

For the filling

• 1 tin of chopped tomatoes – 225g
• 2 garlic cloves – finely chopped
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 sprig of thyme
• double cream – 300ml
• saffron threads – a good pinch
• 4 egg yolks
• white meat, plus a little of the brown, from a 900g cooked crab
• s and p

Make the pastry by rubbing the butter into the flour, then adding the egg yolk, salt and enough water to form a dough.

Wrap in cling film and chill for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 180C (gas mark 4).

Roll out the pastry as thin as possible and line a 20cm (8inch) tart or flan tin.

Trim the edges, prick the base with a fork and blind bake for 15-20 minutes or until a pale golden brown and cooked through.

For the filling put the tomatoes, garlic and herbs into a saucepan and reduce over a medium heat until it is a thickish sauce.

Remove the herbs, allow to cool and then spread over the bottom of the pastry case.

Warm through 3 tbsp of the cream, add the saffron and allow to steep for a few minutes.

Beat together the egg yolks with the saffron cream and remaining cream. Season.

Loosely fold the crab meat into this custard mix and pour into the pastry case.

Bake in the oven for 30-40 minutes by which time it should be set and a pale golden brown.

Serve warm rather than straight from the oven.

Verdict: Lighter and ‘quichier’ than the Rick Stein tart. Tasty though. Very tasty.

Drink: The regular Saturday evening cocktail of beer and wine.

Entertainment: ‘Stewart Lee – 90s Comedian’ – a recent purchase on DVD from ‘Go Faster Stripe‘. Without a doubt his most ‘shocking’ set and therefore one of the funniest. A comedy genius. I suppose at some point we’ll have to censor what we watch in front of Yumblog Junior. Or get her to bed a bit earlier.

Stew’s hand

Preparation time: 30 minutes to an hour depending on your skill at dissecting a crab.

Cooking time: about an hour

Skill level: medium

Serves: we ate the lot between the 2 of us, although it should serve 4 normal people as a light lunch

Ingredients

For the rich shortcrust pastry

• plain white flour – 100g
• unsalted butter – chilled – 65g
• cold water – 1-1½ tbsp
• pinch’o'salt

For the filling

• 1 large cooked brown crab
• 8 cloves of garlic – 4 finely chopped and 4 bruised
• can of chopped tomatoes – 200g
• white wine – 60ml
• brandy – 60ml
• 3 bay leaves
• FLP – small bunch
• shallot – finely chopped – 100g
• dried chilli flakes – crushed – ¼tsp
• tomatoes – skinned and deseeded – 225g
• fresh white breadcrumbs – 25g
• olive oil
• salt & pepper

Start by making your pastry. Sift the flour and salt into a mixing bowl and add the chilled butter, cut up in small pieces.

Rub in the butter until you have the usual fine breadcrumb texture.

Stir in the water with a rounded knife until it comes together to form a ball (it’s a temperature thing so don’t be tempted to use your fingers).

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead briefly until smooth.

Wrap in clingfilm and refrigerate until needed (it’s best left at least half an hour before using).

Preheat your oven to 200c/gas mark 6.

Lightly grease a shallow 30cm tart dish.

Roll out your pastry very thinly to a circle large enough to line the dish. Trim off any excess pastry, line with a circle of tin foil and blind bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown.

Remove from the oven and set aside.

Next catch, kill and boil your brown crab … or alternatively buy from your fishmonger/Waitrose.

Remove all the white meat (you should end up with about 200g) and set aside.

Place all that remains of the crab (APART from the back shell) in a pan and crush slightly with a rolling pin. Add 2 tbsp of oil and the bruised garlic and fry over a high heat for 5 minutes.

Add the canned tomatoes, wine, brandy, bay leaves, stalks from the bunch of parsley and 200ml of water. Bring to the boil and simmer over a low heat for 30 minutes.

Pass through a sieve into a clean bowl and set aside.

Heat 3 tbsp of oil in a medium-sized pan and add the remaining garlic, shallot and chilli and gently cook for 10 minutes or until the onion is soft and lightly coloured.

Add the fresh tomatoes, crab stock, some seasoning and simmer until the mixture has reduced to a thick sauce. Finely chop the parsley leaves and add all but 1 tbsp to the sauce along with the white crab meat.

Taste and season if necessary.

Increase the oven temperature to 220c/gas mark 7 and spoon the mixture into the pastry case.

Mix together the breadcrumbs and remaining chopped parsley with 1 tbsp of olive oil and sprinkle over the top.

Bake for 5-6 minutes until the topping is crisp and golden.

Serve warm.

Verdict: As mentioned at the top of the page, this is a stunning creation which is like eating a day out at the seaside. A sweet tomato and crabby filling surrounded by a crumbly butter-rich pastry. I take my hat off to Rick Stein (or the Spanish) for this is a work of beauty.

Drink: Moderate (for a Saturday night).

Entertainment: The start of the 5th season of ‘Homocide – Life on the Streets’.

*Oh, and we also omitted the lard from the pastry (substituting with extra butter), because one of us is a strict vegetarian who wouldn’t dream of such a thing in their crab tart.

**1875

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 25 – 30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• raw peeled prawns – 400g
• waxy new potatoes – 250g
• crushed dried chilli flakes – ¼ tsp
• 1 garlic clove – very thinly sliced
• extra-virgin olive oil – 60ml
• hot smoked paprika (Pimentón picante)- ½ tbsp
• fish stock – 300ml
• salt & pepper

Wash (and peel if you want) the potatoes and cut into 1cm thick slices.

Place in a pan of cold salted water, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes (they should be barely tender)

Drain and set aside.

Put the olive oil, garlic, chilli in a deep frying pan and cook over a medium heat for about 3 minutes until the garlic is lightly coloured.

Add the paprika and cook for a minute more.

Add the stock, season and bring to the boil.

Add the potatoes and cook over a high simmer for 10 -15 minutes until the potatoes are soft and the sauce has reduced and concentrated in flavour.

Add the prawns and cook for a futher 3 minutes until thoroughly cooked through.

Taste, adjust the seasoning and serve with plenty of good quality bread.

Verdict: A simple yet luxurious bowl of spicy tastiness. More fiery than a Beko Fridge-Freezer.

Drink: The standard Saturday evening cocktail of lager, fine summer ales and wine.

Entertainment: ‘Shutter Island’ on DVD. An enjoyable if overlong Film Noir with a clearly sign-posted twist towards the end*.

* SPOILER ALERT.
Leonardo DiCaprio turns out to be a man.
And a ghost.
And Luke’s father.

And that dear reader(s) is the trouble we go to to bring you these recipes. I hope you appreciate it. We don’t get paid for this you know. It’s not as if we even enjoy food.

Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: 30 – 45 minutes
Skill level: Despite the long list of ingredients this is a very quick and easy recipe
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• 1 shallot – finely chopped
• ½ leek (white part) – finely chopped
• 1 carrot – finely chopped
• 1 celery stick – finely chopped
• ½ fennel bulb – finely chopped
• 1 garlic clove – finely chopped
• 1 chilli – deseeded – finely chopped
• butter – a big knob
• tomato ketchup (or purée) – 1 tbsp
• 2 tomatoes – skinned and roughly chopped
• white wine – 90ml
• brandy – 25ml
• 1 bay leaf
• fish stock – 400ml
• crème fraiche (or double cream) – 75ml
• cayenne pepper – pinch
• smoked paprika – 1tsp (or to taste – this stuff tends to be pretty powerful)
• assorted fish (cut into bite-size chunks) and shellfish (we had cod, red mullet and king prawns) – 400g
• 8 new potatoes – cooked
• 1 carrot – sliced into thinish batons and cooked
• green beans – chopped and cooked
• fresh parsley – handful – chopped
• juice of half a lemon
• s & p

Start by cooking your potatoes, carrots and beans.

Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large heavy bottomed pan over a low heat.

Add the shallots, garlic, chilli, leek, carrot, fennel and celery and gently cook until softened but not coloured (10-15 minutes).

Add the tomato ketchup, tomato, white wine and brandy.

Turn up the heat and bring to the boil – cook until the liquid is reduced by half.

Add the bay leaf, fish stock and crème fraiche and bring up to the boil.

Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook until the volume has halved.

Add the cayenne pepper, paprika, chunks of fish and shellfish, plus the cooked potatoes, carrots and beans.

Simmer for no longer than five minutes, or until the fish is just cooked.

Add the parsley and lemon juice, give it a quick stir and serve.

Serve with lightly toasted bread, rubbed with garlic.

Verdict: Boy, this is good. Fishy, spicy and complex with a great depth of flavours… and quick and easy to make to boot.

Drink: A couple of pints at The Lauriston after shopping, a few genial bottles of ale whilst cooking, and the rest of the white to accompany.

Entertainment: Starting to re-watch the brilliant and shamefully underrated ‘15 Storeys High‘ – with both series going for a fiver on Amazon, you’d be a mug not to.

Vince dyes his Oxfam sheepskin coat purple to hide a beetroot stain.

Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: 1 – 1½ hours
Skill level: easy
Serves: 4 normal people or 2 greedy people with leftovers.

Ingredients

• mussels – scrubbed – 500g
• shell-on prawns – half pint (optional)
• white wine – 50ml
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 cloves of garlic – chopped
• 1 star anise
• 4 Cyprus potatoes – sliced 3mm thick lengthways
• cherry tomatoes – halved – 250g
• ½ onion – finely chopped
• parmesan – finely grated – 125g
• risotto rice – 200g
• flat-leaf parsley – coarsely chopped – handful
• extra-virgin olive oil – 40 ml
• s & p

Preheat oven to 160C/gas mark 3.

Peel the shell-on prawns – set the prawns aside but keep the shells.

Place the mussels in a saucepan with the wine, bay leaf, garlic, star anise, prawn shells and 50ml of water, cover with a lid and cook over high heat, shaking pan occasionally, until the mussels open (3-4 minutes).

When cool enough to handle, remove the mussels from their shells and set aside (keeping 6 mussels in their shells for decoration).

Strain cooking liquid through a fine sieve or muslin and reserve (squash down the prawns shells with the back of a spoon to extract the maximum juice/flavour).

Layer one-third of the potato in the bottom of a large paella pan or wide high-sided baking dish.

Scatter over half the cherry tomatoes, half the onion. half the mussels and half the prawns.

Then scatter one-third of the cheese and half the rice evenly on top.

Drizzle over half the oil and season generously.

Repeat process and then scatter over the mussels in their shells and place remaining potato on top, allowing mussels to show.

Scatter over remaining parmesan and bake for 5 minutes.

Then add the mussel liquid and 750ml hot water (or enough to cover by 1cm).

Turn up your oven to 180C/Gas mark 4 and bake until the rice and potato are tender, all the liquid is absorbed and the dish has taken on a golden colour (45 minutes – 1 hour 15 minutes). Check towards the end of cooking.

Serve scattered with parsley.

Verdict: An interesting, tasty and filling double carb hit of rice and potato.

Drink: A couple of sunny pints at The Lauriston, VPV before and a bottle of white during.

Entertainment: Listening to England going 2-0 down before and the final few episodes of ‘Ideal’ during.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 10-12 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients – feel free to experiment with the ratio of garlic/chilli/capers – quantities quoted below are relatively modest.

• spaghetti – 220g
• seafood mix (usually prawns, mussels and squid) – 200g
• prawns (the larger the better) – cooked/prepared – 200g
• cherry tomatoes – halved – 200g
• 3 cloves garlic – chopped
• 2 chillis – deseeded and finely chopped
• capers – rinsed – 2 tbsp
• dry white wine – 180ml
• a slug of Pernod/Ricard (optional but nice)
• extra-virgin olive oil – be generous
• flat-leaf parsley – handful – chopped
• s and p

If you are using frozen prawns/seafood mix, please make sure they are thoroughly defrosted.

Preheat the oven to 180C/gas 4.

Pour some olive oil into a frying pan and quickly cook the seafood/prawns for a couple of minutes until slightly seared.

Remove from the pan and set aside.

Heat some more oil in the pan and sauté the garlic and chilli for 2 minutes.

Add the tomatoes and cook for a further 2 minutes.

Add the wine, Pernod and capers and bring to the boil.

Season with salt and pepper, turn down the heat and gently simmer.

MEANWHILE, cook the spaghetti in boiling salted water for 6 minutes.

Drain and add to the sauce along with the seafood and parsley.

Cut 4 large squares of baking parchment.

Place 2 squares in the centre of a bowl and spoon in half the spaghetti mixture. Gather up the paper to form a parcel and tie the top with string. Repeat with the other half.

Place your parcels on a baking tray and bake for 15 minutes.

Transfer to serving bowls, cut the string and serve.

Verdict: This makes a great Saturday night dinner (assuming of course like us, you spend your Saturday nights indoors). We had to make this a couple of times to get the balance of flavours right – be generous with the ingredients.

Drink: Obviously finished off the bottle of white. Obviously opened another.

Entertainment: ‘Steptoe And Son – The Christmas Specials’ on DVD. Two not particularly Christmassy Christmas Specials from 1973/74. The second one had an uncharacteristic happy ending when Albert and Harold eventually manage to spend their Christmases apart. Worthy of the overused term ‘classic’.