A yumblog 6Music tribute to Ronnie James Dio who sadly died over the weekend.

Preparation time: 12 minutes + overnight chilling
Cooking time: 35-40 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 35-40 (in our case, a lot more than we could actually eat, despite taking half of them to work)

Ingredients

• plain flour – 190g
• milk – 100g
• lemon juice – 4 drops
• fresh yeast – 5g (dried yeast – 3g)
• unsalted butter – 105g (divided equally into 5 pieces)
• a pinch of salt
• granulated sugar – the biscuit dough is rolled on this instead of flour

Put the flour, milk, lemon juice and yeast in a bowl along with a pinch of salt and mix together.

Place one piece of butter in with the mixture and whisk at high speed for 2 minutes. Repeat this 4 times with the rest of the butter.

Wrap the dough in cling film and refrigerate overnight.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Next day.

Preheat the oven to a cool 130°C (gas mark 1) and line a baking sheet with non-stick baking paper.

Cover your work surface with sugar and roll out your dough until very thin, sprinkling with more sugar to ensure both sides have a sugar coating.

Use a biscuit cutter to cut into a shape of your choice, place onto your lined baking sheet and sprinkle with yet more sugar.

Bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a biscuity golden colour. It is vital to note that the biscuits will still be soft when removed from the oven but they will crisp up nicely once left to cool. If they’re crisp when removed from the oven you’ve overdone them.

Leave to cool on a wire rack.

Have a sit down with a nice mug of tea and an Arnhem biscuit.

Verdict: Simple rich buttery biscuits with a crunchy sugar coating. For that extra sugar rush and potential diabetic coma why not do as we did and eat them accompanied by a Simon Hopkinson cream-laden rhubarb fool.

Drink: These biscuits make splendid dunkers, so why not have a nice mug of tea?

Entertainment: ‘Gran Torino’ on DVD. Clint Eastwood plays an aged, racist war vet with a Bronze Star and a heart of gold. A not particularly subtle but never-the-less greatly enjoyable popcorn movie…or in our case a not particularly subtle but never-the-less greatly enjoyable Arnhem biscuit and rhubarb fool movie.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 3½ – 4½ hours (yep that’s not a typo, 3½ – 4½ hours)
Skill level: Easy
Recipe: Simon Hopkinson

Ingredients

• pudding rice – 100g
• full-fat milk – 1 litre
• caster sugar – 75g
• butter – 65g
• double cream – 150ml
• ½ a vanilla pod, split lengthways
• tiny pinch of salt

Ideally for this recipe you will need a heavy-bottomed casserole dish which is suitable for both the oven and the hob.

Preheat the oven to a cool 140°C (gas mark 1).

On the hob, melt the butter in your casserole dish and add the sugar. Stir over a gentle heat until it has become soft and gooey like toffee.

Add the rice and continue to stir until the rice is puffy, pale brown and fully coated in the sugar mixture.

Add the milk which will hiss angrily when it hits the dish. Use a wooden spoon to break up any lumps.

Add the vanilla pod and squash it around a bit to release the seeds.

Add cream and salt and bring to the boil.

Place in the oven and cook slowly for 3 – 4 hours until it has just started to set and has a tasty skin on top.

Simon Hopkinson said to eat this warm or cold, but never hot, so we did as we were told.

Verdict: Luxurious, creamy not overly sweet with a lovely butterscotch/toffee finish. Delicious warm. Delicious cold. Delicious.

Drink: A heady variety of better than average wines.

Entertainment: An evening of sibling badinage for her, an evening of listening to sibling badinage for him.

Preparation time: 20 minutes plus 2 hours for rising
Cooking time: 12 – 15 minutes
Skill level: Easy
Makes: 8 rolls

Ingredients

• strong white flour – 250g
• butter – 2tbsp
• sugar – 2tbsp
• fast action dried yeast – ¾tsp
• 2 eggs beaten
• good quality plain dark chocolate – 50g
• milk – warmed – 3tbsp
• salt – ½tsp

Place the flour, sugar, yeast and salt in a large bowl and mix together.

Rub in the butter until the mixture resembles bread crumbs.

Add the beaten egg and enough of the warm milk to form a soft dough.

Knead the dough on a floured surface for 5 minutes or until the dough is smooth and springy.

Return to the bowl, cover with oiled cling film and set aside somewhere warm for an hour or until the dough has doubled in size.

Tip the dough onto a floured surface and knead for a short while.

Divide into 8 pieces and roll each piece into a ball.

Cut the chocolate into 8 chunks and push each piece into the centre of the rolls. Roll again to seal in the chocolate.

Place on an oiled baking sheet, loosely cover with oiled cling film and place somewhere warm for 40 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 200c (gas mark 6)

Remove the cling film (stupid) and bake for 12-15 minutes until the rolls are golden brown and sound hollow when tapped.

Place on a rack to cool.

Verdict: A light bread with a hidden chocolate treat which would make a great Easter alternative to the hot cross bun. I particularly liked these because they are not too sweet.

Drink: Goes well with a nice cup of tea.

Entertainment: The utterly pointless and unwatchable ‘Cecil B Demented’ on DVD. We endured this ‘darkly comic satire’ for a generous 20 minutes before lunging for the ‘stop’ button. If our remote had been equipped with an ‘erase’ button we would have pressed that too.

Preparation time: 2 hours
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 6
Recipe: David Myers and Simon King aka The Hairy Bikers

Ingredients

• double cream – 500ml
• caster sugar – 4 tbsp
• 3½ gelatine sheets
• raisins – 2 tbsp
• dark rum – 2 tbsp
• ground ginger – ¼ tsp
• ground allspice – ¼ tsp
• ground nutmeg – to taste
• 1 small handful berries, such as redcurrants, to serve

Place the raisins into a small bowl and cover with the rum. Set aside to soak for at least 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, soak the gelatine sheets in a bowl of cold water until softened. Drain and squeeze out any excess liquid using your hands.

In a heavy-based pan, heat the double cream, sugar and ground spices. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat until the mixture is simmering and simmer for 2-3 minutes, whisking until the sugar has dissolved.

Remove the cream mixture from the heat and whisk in the drained gelatine until dissolved. Drain the raisins and stir into the cream mixture (discard the soaking liquid).

Spoon the mixture into six moulds or ramekins. Set aside to cool completely, then cover with cling film and chill in the fridge for at least two hours, or until set.

To serve, dip the ramekins briefly into hot water to loosen each panna cotta and turn out onto serving plates. Scatter over some redcurrants to garnish.

Verdict: As we were at our Christmas residence in Berlin there were no ramekins, so a single bowl had to be employed; it took a little longer to extricate the Cotta from this receptacle but nonetheless it popped out in the end. The dessert was well set and super rich. The suggested portions are undoubtedly correct so if you see what you deem to be a small portion in front of you, fear not, you will be sated. The spices with the rum and the raisins give it the flavour of a delightfully creamy Christmas pudding, though obviously there needn’t be any seasonal constraints on its consumption

Drink: Don’t forget to knock back the raisin infused rum.

Entertainment: The Bickering of the Sisters, an occasional event that is literally not a joy to behold, even for the participants, doesn’t even require the fuel of alcohol, but the presence of a parent is usually sufficient as a catalyst.

Madeleine Cake Base

A classic French sponge cake. This should be prepared several hours in advance so it is completely cool, or the day before even.

• butter – 100g
• juice of ½ lemon
• caster sugar – 125g
• 3 eggs with an extra egg yolk
• self-raising flour – sifted – 125g
• pinch of salt

Preheat the oven to 180ºC (350ºF, gas 4).

Melt 100g butter without allowing it to bubble too much, burn and thus be ruined.

Butter a tray of madeleine/fairy cake moulds.

Put the juice of half a lemon in a bowl with a pinch of salt, the sugar and the eggs.

Mix well with a wooden spoon.

Sprinkle in the sifted flour and mix until smooth.

Finally add the melted butter and stir.

Stick your finger in the mixture to try it but try not to leave traces on your face.

Spoon the mixture into moulds but do not fill more than 2/3 full.

Bake for 20–25 minutues, or until a knife inserted into a cake comes out clean.

Turn out onto a wire wrack to cool and relax as you are not making the custard until tomorrow.

Confectioner’s Custard

• milk – 500ml
• 3 egg yolks
• caster sugar – 75g
• cornflour – 40g
• vanilla pod or small packet vanilla powder

Split the vanilla pod and boil it with in the milk, then remove it. Or if failed to find a vanillla pod because you are in a German supermarket, sprinkle in a packet of vanilla powder.

Beat the egg yolks with the sugar and when the mixture has turned white and you have turned red, add the cornflour and beat to a smooth consisency – harder than you imagine.

Gradually add the vanilla-flavoured milk, whisking all the time.

Put the mixture in a saucepan over a gentle heat and boil for 1 minute whisking vigorously.

Pour the custard into a bowl to cool and go and have a glass of Champagne.

Constructing the Trifle

• fresh, tinned red fruit such as raspberries or stawberries – 300g
• Sherry, several large slugs, and one for the chef, in fact two
• whipping or double cream – 250ml
• decorations of your choice, such as walnuts and almonds

Start by placing the cakes in the bottom of a glass bowl and soak generously in sherry.

Leave for 10 minutes or so and add some more sherry, lots more.

Sprinkle the fruit evenly over the boozy sponge.

Pour the now cool custard over the fruit layer, and spread evenly, especially if it has turned out a bit thick like.

Pop in the fridge while you whip the cream.

Wallap the cream on the top, spread evenly and decorate.

Eat with an irresponsibly large quantity of Hungarian dessert wine.

Verdict: As would be expected from the constituant parts, this is a superior (and very boozy) trifle.

Drink: A wide and extensive variety of alcohol-based drinks.

Entertainment: Listening to the abstract ramblings of afore mentioned trifle-maker. And crackers.

Want to see something scary? Take a look at ‘People of Walmart‘

Preparation time: 15 minute plus an hour or two to set
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: more than we could possibly want
Recipe: Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

Ingredients

• granulated sugar – 500g
• icing sugar – 1-2 tbsp
• cornflour – 1-2 tbsp
• a little vegetable oil – for oiling
• 1 small, raw, peeled beetroot (optional)
• gelatine powder – 25g (about 2 sachets)
• 2 egg whites

Sieve the icing sugar and cornflour into a bowl. Take a 20cm x 20cm cake tin, rub with oil and shake in some of the icing sugar mix to coat.

Grate the beetroot into a bowl, pour on 125ml of near-boiling water and leave to quickly infuse for 30 seconds. Strain into another bowl and stir in the gelatine to dissolve.

Over low heat, warm the sugar and 250ml water and stir to dissolve the sugar.

Using a sugar thermometer, boil fiercely to 122C.

Remove from the heat, pour in the beetroot/gelatine mixture and stir.

Put the egg whites in a mixer bowl and beat until very stiff. With the mixer on low speed, slowly pour in the sugar solution and beat until really thick but still pourable.

Pour into the tin and leave to set in a cool place (not the fridge) for an hour or two.

Thoroughly dust a board with the remaining cornflour/icing sugar mix. Coat a knife with oil, and use to ease the marshmallow out on to the board.

Cut into squares, and store in an airtight tin lined with parchment.

Verdict: Well they taste like marshmallows so if you like marshmallows you’ll like these. Personally I’m not fussed so these were made more out of curiosity than desire (I would certainly pass the marshmallow test). They are much softer and less dusty than the shop bought (or farmed) variety and tend to melt rather than toast.

Drink: You’ll need a gallon of tea to wash down these sweet sticky confections.

Entertainment: Sitting around the camp fire singing Ging Gang Goolie and telling ghost stories.

The marshmallow contact sheet

‘

Another HF-W recipe from the Guardian magazine. His ability to tap into the Blogger-D taste-psyche is uncanny.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 50 – 60 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: So much you’ll end up feeding it to the squirrels
Recipe: Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

Ingredients

• medium oatmeal – 340g
• plain flour – 185g
• soft brown sugar – 2 tbsp
• ground ginger – 3 tsp
• freshly ground nutmeg – ½ tsp
• salt – ½ tsp
• stem ginger – roughly chopped – 65g
• golden syrup – 250g
• black treacle – 250g
• unsalted butter – 125g
• milk – 70ml
• bicarbonate of soda – ½ tsp

Pre-heat the oven to 170C/gas mark 3.

Butter a 22cm baking tin and dust with flour. Then line with baking parchment and butter that too.

Place the oatmeal, flour, sugar, ground ginger, nutmeg and salt in a bowl and mix together. Stir in the stem ginger.

Warm the syrup, treacle and butter until the butter has just melted.
In another pan, warm the milk to blood temperature and then stir in the bicarb.
Pour both the milk and treacle mixtures into the dry ingredients and mix together.

Spoon into the tin and bake for 40 minutes, until just firm to the touch.

Leave to cool a little, then cut into squares or indeed wedges if you baked in a round vessel.

An East End squirrel enjoys a bit of parkin

Verdict: Enjoyed by man and beast alike. A sort of substantial spicy gingery soft flap jack… very tasty and very filling.’

Drink: Puddle water.

Entertainment: During the 2 weeks it took to eat we probably watched half a season of  ‘The Shield’ and far too many old episodes of QI on Dave. Also on at least two occasions we left the house and went to the theatre to see Marcus Brigstocke and ‘We are Klang‘ (The image of a naked man with his cock tucked between his legs pretenting to be Debbie McGee still haunts).

The parkin contact sheet

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 5 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: some people

Ingredients

• gooseberries – 440g
• granulated sugar – 10g
• water – 215ml
• caster sugar – 100g
• lemon – 1 – juice of

De-stalk the gooseberries and cook them in 15ml of water with the granulated sugar until soft.

Meanwhile, boil together the rest of the water with the caster sugar. Lower the heat when the sugar has dissolved and then cool.

Now, blend the gooseberry mixture then sieve.

Add the sieved mixture to the syrup then pour into a freezer-proof tub and stick in the freezer.

When the mixture starts to freeze, stir to break it up and then put back in the freezer. Then repeat the process five times until you have a tasty creamy smooth sorbet.

Don’t make and then go to the pub, especially don’t try out scrumpy whilst out, this leads to acute memory loss and a very frozen sorbet which then has to be partially defrosted in order to complete the process.

Verdict: Tasty and sweet. Good summer treat.

Drink: After the main preparation – Weston’s Old Rosie Scrumpy rocking in at a tawdry 7.1%. For the first tasting – a homemade lemonade.

Entertainment: The six hundred hour long Wimbledon men’s final which was eventually won by the one who was expected to win.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• butter – 100 g
• plain flour – 175 g
• brown sugar – 75 g
• plain chocolate – 100 g – chopped
• cocoa powder – 75 g
• bicarbonate of soda – 1/2 tsp
• salt – pinch
• castor sugar – 75 g
• vanilla essence – few drops

Sift flour into a bowl. Add butter and cream the mixture. Add sugar. Add cocoa powder. Add chopped up bits of chocolate.

Taste some of the mixture and wonder if you really need to cook it. Form into little balls and place on a baking tray lined with baking paper. Dip a fork in hot water and make fork indentations on each biscuit – you can temper the biscuity/cakeyness at this stage – the flatter the biscuitier.

Bake at 190 C/gas mark 5 for ten minutes.

Set aside on grid to cool.

Eat.

Just the one.

Well another won’t hurt, etc…

Verdict: The people liked the chocolate biscuits, that’s a FACT.

Drink: A drop of red/some beer/some rose/some Cava/watered down juice for the littluns and tea for John’s Mum.

Entertainment: Small boy child having his birthday presents opened by slightly older girl child. Then another small child driving a child’s car thing back and forth at levels of repetition only tolerated by small children.

Preparation time: 40 minutes plus baking and 6 hours refrigeration time
Cooking time: 50 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 5

Ingredients

• double cream – 175 ml
• vanilla pod – 1/2
• milk – 75 ml
• dark bitter chocolate (as high a percentage as you can find, I used Green & Blacks 85%) – 125 g
• egg yolks – 2
• icing sugar – 1 heaped tbsp

Pre-heat the oven to 140C (gas mark 1). Gently warm through the cream with the vanilla pod, whisk to disperse the vanilla seeds, then cover and leave to infuse for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, melt the chocolate in the milk. Beat the eggs yolks and sugar together and then add to this the chocolate milk and vanilla cream and blend thoroughly. Sieve (with a fine-meshed sieve) and pour into little pots or ramekins.

Bake in a bain-marie for 45 minutes to one hour or until slightly puffed and spongy. Cool thoroughly in the fridge for at least 6 hours before serving.

Verdict: Dense and chocolatey, to be eaten slowly with a very small spoon. Blogger R enjoyed it because it wasn’t too sweet – he’s like John Torode in that way.

Drink: Dessert wine served in stemmed Stolichnaya shot glasses.

Entertainment: The inane ramblings of Archaeologist T, sister to Blogger D and inadvertently long-staying house guest. She also provided the Cybermen masks.