Another exception to this rule are the cheeky Hairy Bikers as we like their cheeky northern cheekiness and honest, hearty grub …and grub doesn’t get more honest and hearty than this excellent supper dish.

Now put down that book and get out of our house or we’ll release the hounds!

An artist’s impression of what Dave Myers’ Mam
might most probably definitely looks like.

Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: roughly 30 minutes – more if you need to make the mash from scratch
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

For the fishcakes:

• cod fillet – 250g
• milk – 125ml
• mashed potato – 250g
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 free range eggs
• parsley – finely chopped – 1tbsp
• plain flour – some
• packet bread crumbs – the bright orange ones
• black and white pepper
• sea salt
• olive oil

For the cheese sauce:

• reserved milk from poaching the fish
• full fat milk
• butter – 50g
• plain flour – 2½tbsp
• mature cheddar – grated – 175g
• salt & pepper

If you don’t have any left-over mashed potato, now’s the time to make some.

Season the cod with salt and black pepper and place in a deep frying pan along with the milk and bay leaf. Cover with a lid.

Bring the milk to the boil, turn down the heat and simmer for about 5 minutes (depending on the thickness of your fillet) until the fish is beginning to flake.

Set aside to cool.

Once cool, strain (and keep) the cooking liquid and flake the fish.

Drop the flaked fish into a large bowl along with the mashed potato, one beaten egg and the chopped parsley. Gently mix everything together and season with salt and white pepper (the white pepper is essential for that authentic Mam flavour).

Divide the mixture in two and form both of your behemoth fishcakes.

Grab three dinner plates and lay them out in a row.

Put flour on the first, beaten egg on the second and breadcrumbs on the third.

Carefully roll the fishcakes in the flour, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs.

Heat some olive oil in a frying pan and cook the fishcakes on both sides until a dark golden brown.

Place in a medium oven to keep warm.

Next for the cheese sauce.

Add some milk to the reserved fish stock until it makes up 500ml.

Add the butter to a saucepan and heat until melted. Add the flour to form a paste. Cook for 3 minutes, stirring all the time.

Gradually add the milk mixture and whisk over a gentle heat until thickened.

Add the cheese and stir until melted and the sauce is silky smooth.

Season to taste.

Pour over your fishcakes and serve, possibly with something green and spherical such as peas.

Enjoy.

Verdict: There can’t be a better Saturday-evening-in-front-of-the-TV dinner than this. The fishcake is smooth and fishy on the inside and crisp and crunchy on the outside. The cheese sauce is smooth, unctuous and cheesier than cheese itself. There is a reason the Hairy Bikers are carrying a few extra pounds.

Drink: A few Duffs and a bottle of half price red from Morrisons.

Entertainment: A ‘Shoestring’ on DVD.

A birthday present from Blogger-D to Blogger-R.

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 30 minutes for the batter to sit
Cooking time: 20-30 minutes
Skill level: medium
Makes: 10 – 12 crêpes

Ingredients

For the crêpes

• white flour – 190g
• pinch of salt
• 2 eggs
• full fat milk – 250ml
• butter – melted – 25g
• olive oil – for cooking

For the filling

• 2 shallots – finely chopped
• 1 clove of garlic – finely chopped
• butter – 15g
• soft goat’s cheese – 100g
• olive oil – 1tbsp
• chives – finely chopped – 1tbsp
• parsley – finely chopped – 1tbsp
• s & p

If your goat’s cheese is in the fridge, take it out so it softens to room temperature.

Start by making the batter.

Sift the flour into a bowl and then add the salt.

Make a well in the centre of the flour and break the eggs into it. Whisk the centre gradually bringing in more and more flour from the outside.

Next gradually whisk in the milk followed by the melted butter.

The batter should be runny enough to thinly coat the back of a spoon. Add a little more milk if too thick.

Cover and set aside in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Now for the filling.

Sauté the shallots and garlic in the butter. You want them soft and translucent but not coloured.

In a bowl combine the shallots and garlic with the goat’s cheese.

Add the olive oil and mix until everything is combined and creamy.

Stir in the chives and parsley.

Season to taste.

Find a 8″ frying pan and make your crêpes in the usual way. If you don’t know how to do this there are plenty of videos on Youtube which will show you how … such as this crazy guy. Stack the crêpes as you make them … you should end up with 10-12.

Next construct your crêpes

Spread a spoonful of the cheese filling on a quarter of the crêpe. Fold in half and then in half again to form a triangle. Continue until you have run out of crêpes and filling.

Place in a moderate oven for a couple of minutes to warm through.

Serve with a crisp green salad.

Verdict: Tangy goatiness wrapped up in a soft blanket of pancake. Very good indeed. The quantity is right for two people although we could have eaten it all over again.

Drink: A few more Duff and a bottle of sub £5 red.

Entertainment: ‘A Question of Taste’. Kirsty Wark asks foody questions of (invariably) smug food bloggers and William Sitwell sits behind a Mac laptop with the Apple logo taped over and reads out interesting food facts from Wikipedia. As niche and awkward quizes go, I prefer ‘Antiques Master‘.

Incidentally welcome to 2012 – the year which in the future we will look back on as marking the beginning of the end. Quietus anyone?

Preparation time: 5 – 10 minutes
Cooking time: about an hour
Skill level: easy
Serves: 4 – 6

Ingredients

• waxy potatoes – thinly sliced – 1kg
• 1 large onion – thinly sliced
• 1 clove of garlic – crushed
• fresh thyme – 10g
• double cream – 250ml
• semi-skimmed milk – 320ml
• mature Brie – 250g
• olive oil
• s & p

*OK so this uses the wrong cheese and doesn’t contain any lardons so purists and pedants will probably insist this is not a true tartiflette.

Preheat your oven to 180c/gas mark 4.

Gently fry the onion in some olive until soft and beginning to colour. Set aside.

Strip the leaves from the thyme sprigs and finely chop.

Put the cream, milk, garlic and thyme in a large saucepan and bring to a simmer.

Add the sliced potato, cover with a lid and cook for 5 minutes.

Stir in the cooked onions and season with salt and black pepper.

Butter a suitably sized ovenproof dish.

Chop the Brie into slices.

Place half the potato mixture into the prepared dish and sprinkle over half the cheese.

Repeat, finishing with a layer of cheese.

(At this stage the dish can be set aside and cooked at a later time.)

Bake in the oven for 40-45 minutes until bubbling with a golden crusty top and tender when stabbed with a knife.

Serve as a side or main with a healthy salad.

Verdict: Potato and melted cheese works, this is a fact and this is another excellent example of the genre. Creamy smooth rich filling comfort food.

Drink: Red – we are still bravely drinking our way through our substantial Christmas stash of booze.

Entertainment: The third and final episode of ‘Black Mirror’ followed by Old Jews Telling Jokes.

Happy New Year – You decide when.

Preparation time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 50-55 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 1 medium loaf

Ingredients

• butter – 100g (plus a little extra to grease the tin)
• self-raising flour – 300g
• goat’s cheese (you could use feta also) – diced – 175g
• cherry tomatoes – halved – 175g
• fresh basil – 15g
• milk – 100ml
• 3 eggs
• salt – ½ tsp
• black pepper

Pre-heat your oven to 180C (gas mark 4)

Butter and line a 900g loaf tin with baking parchment.

Tip the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl and twist in a generous amount of black pepper.

Rub in the butter.

Add 100g each of the cheese and tomatoes, plus all the basil leaves (roughly torn)

Beat the milk and eggs together and quickly add to the flour mixture.

Pour into the lined tin, smooth down the top and sprinkle over the remaining cheese and tomatoes.

Bake for 50-55 minutes until golden brown. Check that it is cooked by inserting and removing a skewer – if the skewer comes out clean then the bread is ready – be careful to ensure that you haven’t hit a pocket of melted cheese rather than undercooked mixture.

Turn out onto a wire rack to cool.

Slice and serve as is or toasted.

Store in the fridge for up to two days.

Verdict: Oh my gosh Roberta, this is pretty darn good. A rich soft ‘cakey’ texture containing little explosions of goaty saltiness and tomato sweetness. We served ours up in a variety of ways – a topping of scrambled eggs and smoked salmon proved to be a taste sensation. Like the rest of us, probably at its best when lightly toasted.

Drink: Tea by the bucketful. Aka a Tonyload of tea.

Entertainment: Trying to dissuade Yumblog Junior from sticking her fist into the Marmite jar.

* Assuming the egg is 3 metres in diameter and at an altitude of 27,000 feet.

Self indulgent photo of Yumblog Junior #27

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus an hour to set the polenta
Cooking time: 50 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• polenta – 90g
• butter – 25g
• portobello mushrooms – 400g
• rosemary – roughly chopped – 2tbsp
• 2 fat garlic cloves – finely chopped
• gorgonzola – 50g
• olive oil
• s and p

Start by making your polenta.

Bring 500ml of salted water to the boil in a medium-sized saucepan. Gradually pour in the polenta, stirring continuously.

Keep stirring and cook for 5-7 minutes until the polenta is smooth.

Continue cooking over a low/medium heat for 25 minutes – stirring occasionally.

Remove from the heat and stir in 15g of butter.

Pour into a suitably sized container/tin which has been lined with cling film – you’ll want your polenta to be about 15-20mm thick.

Smooth the top of the polenta and refrigerate for about an hour until cool and set.

Cut the polenta into slices,

Heat some oil in a non-stick frying pan over a high heat. When the oil is very hot, lay in the polenta slices and fry on both sides until crisp and golden – you may have to do this in batches if your pan is not big enough,

Remove, place on kitchen paper and keep warm.

Meanwhile, heat some oil in (another) large non-stick frying pan and when very hot add the mushrooms. Fry for 3-5 minutes until they have started to colour and then add the remaining butter, garlic and rosemary. Fry for another 2-3 minutes until golden in colour. Taste, season and keep warm.

To serve, top the polenta slices with the mushrooms and crumble over the gorgonzola.

Verdict: This makes an excellent evening meal (the polenta could be made a day or two in advance) or an indulgent weekend brunch. The crunch of the polenta contrasts well with the soft mushrooms and the flavours of the 3 constituent ingeredients complement each other perfectly. Thoroughly recommended.

Drink: A pair of G’n'T’s.

Entertainment: Watching the ever familiar help screen of our BT Vision box (they let us keep it when we cancelled the contract, methinks they understand its true value) – the crappiest piece of technology since the Ronco Buttoneer and quaintly the only device this side of 1954 which still requires 5 minutes to warm up.

Preparation time: 5 minutes plus 20 minutes set aside
Cooking time: 20 – 30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2 (we ended up with 7 rostis)

Ingredients

• waxy potatoes – 500g
• 2 spring onions – finely chopped
• parsley – finely chopped – 2 tbsp
• 1 free range egg – beaten
• plain flour – ½ tbsp
• 1 small goat’s cheese
• olive oil
• s and p

Peel and grate the potatoes.

Place in a bowl and season with salt and pepper.

Mix together the egg, flour, onion and parsley, add to the potato mixture and set aside for 20 minutes.

Pour a little oil into a large heavy-bottomed (and very non-stick) frying pan and place over a high heat.

Spoon 1 tbsp of the mixture into the frying pan and squash down with the back of a fish slice to form the pancake and remove some of the liquid. Repeat as many times as you have room in the frying pan – 3-4 probably.

Cook until dark golden on both sides (obviously you’ll need to flip them over).

Place on kitchen roll and repeat until you have used up all your mixture (you should have 6-8)

Preheat your grill to high.

Slice the goat’s cheese into discs and place on top of your pancakes/rostis.

Put under the grill for a few minutes until the cheese has melted.

Serve on a bed of leaves (and a dollop of Oxford Sauce).

… looking a bit like a vegan fried egg (which as you know, like all vegan recipes, is made from a mixture of straw and gluten-free despair)

Verdict: A most enjoyable Sunday brunch. Nice ‘flavour combinations – © Gregg Wallace 2011′ of earthy almost sweet potato with the acidity of the goat’s cheese. The rostis were more ‘stodgy and Teutonic’ than the ones we made a while back.

Drink: K4E with UHT.

Entertainment: Watching Yumblog Junior turn a simple meal into a scene from ‘Dawn of the Dead’.

Again, click here for the recipe.

As we were making this along side the Piedmontese peppers we couldn’t use the grill and so we baked the aubergines (30-40 minutes) instead.

Verdict: It was this dish’s misfortune to be served up along side the now legendary Piedmontese peppers and as a result paled slightly in comparison. That said, it is still very very good. Be generous with the feta and don’t be as cautious with the seasoning as suggested.

Drink: See Piedmontese peppers

Entertainment: Ditto Piedmontese peppers

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 45 minutes
Skill level: very easy
Serves: many

Ingredients

• full-fat cream cheese (at room temperature) – 1kg
• 7 large free-range eggs
• caster sugar – 400g
• double cream – 500ml
• plain flour – 30g

Pre-heat the oven to 220c (gas 7)

Line a 24cm round loose-bottomed cake tin with a double thickness of non-stick baking paper.

Break the eggs into a jug and beat well.

Spoon the cream cheese into a bowl and beat with a hand-held electric mixer.

Ghostly face in the cream cheese

Gradually add the beaten eggs.

Then mix in the sugar, followeed by the cream and then the flour … until smooth.

Pour into the prepared tin and bake for 40-45 minutes. The cheese cake should be nicely browned on top with a slight wobble in the middle.

Turn off the oven, slightly open the door and leave to cool. This will allow the cheesecake to ‘firm up’ and create a nice smooth texture.

When cool, carefully remove from the tin by inverting onto a plate and gently peeling away the baking paper. Invert again onto a serving plate so it is now right side up.

If the sides sag out a little bit (ours did), relax and just trim.

Verdict: Oh how they loved it at Brockwell Park that overcast Sunday afternoon in July. Dense and sweet and creamy and more please.

Drink: A bit of pink fizz, a bit of white fizz and a few cans of beer.

Entertainment: FFF breaking her weekend ‘I’ll only eat fruit’ silence with chocolate cake and cheese cake.

Wot no cake

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
Skill level: very easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• farfalle – 220g
• bag of spinach – 250g
• basil – generous handful
• 1 garlic clove – crushed
• extra-virgin olive oil – a slug
• nutmeg – ¼ tsp
• ricotta 150g
• parmigiano reggiano – finely grated – 20g
• salt & pepper

Cook the pasta as you normally would (al dente).

Meanwhile, to make the sauce, put 225g of spinach, the basil, garlic, olive oil and nutmeg in a food processor and whiz.

Add the ricotta and most of the parmigiano reggiano and whiz again to a smoothish paste. Season to taste.

Drain the pasta and stir in the remaining spinach so the leaves wilt.

Add the sauce and stir to warm through.

Serve with the remaining parmigiano reggiano.

Serving suggestion (not recommended)

Verdict: Quick, easy and tasty … perfect midweek dining fare.

Drink: A Wednesday evening build up to the weekend bottle of white.

Entertainment: * ’2012′ on DVD. Utter tosh.

One of Friday’s recommended and duly purchased cheeses was this Bermondsey Frier – created under a railway arch in Bermondsey by cheesemonger and Raclette vendor William Oglethorpe of Kappacasein. This novel and new cheese was described as being a bit like an unsalted haloumi which although essentially flavourless in its naked state, could be transformed into tasty melting loveliness when dry-fried in salt. It had to be worth a punt …

Cut your Bermondsey Frier into (20mm ish) slices.

Sprinkle fine sea salt in a frying pan and place over a high heat.

When the salt starts to colour lay on the strips of cheese.

As soon as the bottom of the cheese starts to melt and brown (a matter of a few seconds), flip over and cook the other side.

Quickly remove and serve immediately.

We had ours for brunch with the aforementioned garlic rubbed toasted sour dough and slowly sauteed tomatoes.

Verdict: Neal’s Yard weren’t kidding, the dry fry does indeed transform this into something special. A golden salty crust over a molten creamy centre. I would say more like a deep fried mozzarella than a grilled haloumi. Delicious.

Drink: Milky yet strong K4e.

Entertainment: Trying to read a small percentage of the Saturday Guardian before it attracts Yumblog Junior’s attention and she tears it to shreds.

Yumblog Junior now insists on feeding herself.