Serving suggestion only: Egg mayonnaise not included.

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus and hour rising time
Cooking time: 20 – 35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 2 very large crispbreads

Ingredients

• strong wholemeal flour – 200g
• mixed seeds (such as salad mix) – 200g
• dried yeast – 5g
• warm water – 350ml
• fine sea salt – 1 tsp

Put all the ingredients in a bowl and mix together thoroughly.

Cover with cling film and set aside somewhere warm for an hour so the yeast can do its thing.

Heat the oven to 200C (gas mark 6).

Line a baking sheet with a double thickness of non-stick baking paper.

Spoon some (probably half) of the mixture onto the baking tray.

Spread out evenly and thinly with a wooden spoon.

Cover with a sheet of non-stick paper and roll to the required thickness – about 5mm.

Carefully peel off the paper (the mixture is wet and sticky) to reveal your giant cracker.

Place in the oven and cook for a vague 20 – 35 minutes, or until your crackers are golden brown and starting to crisp.

Remove from the oven, turn upside down and carefully peel off the paper.

Leave to cool on a wire rack and then cut to ‘Rivita’ sized sheets.

Repeat with the remaining mixture.

Verdict: Not bad for a first attempt although this is still very much a WiP. Less of a crispbread and more of a chewybread. Nevertheless, a good base for a savoury snack.

Drink: Mostly M&S Belgian lager.

Entertainment: An idle few minutes on Amazon led to the arrival of tunes by ‘Dead Can Dance’, ‘Boards of Canada’, ‘Wasted Youth’ and ‘Ulrich Schnauss’ as well as a Jarvis Cocker inspired ‘Mr Men – The Complete Original Series 1 And 2′ narrated by Arthur Lowe.

Preparation time: 3½ hours (well it is a Dan Lepard recipe)
Cooking time: 25 minutes
Skill level: Medium
Makes: 16 rolls

Ingredients

• onions – sliced thinly – 400g
• strong wholemeal flour – 100g
• strong white flour – 500g (plus extra for shaping)
• sunflower oil – 50ml (plus a little extra for kneading)
• cold milk – 75ml
• warm water – 200ml
• 2 large eggs
• quick action yeast – 1½ tsp
• black onion (kalonji) or fennel seeds – 2 tsp
• fine sea salt – 1½ tsp

Heat the oil in a pan and cook the onions over a gentle heat for 10-15 minutes until they are soft, golden brown and have lost most of their moisture.

Allow to cool a little and them scrape into a bowl. Mix in the seeds, milk, one egg, salt and warm water followed by the yeast and flours.

Mix to a sticky dough, adding more water if needed, then leave for 10 minutes.

Oil both your hands and work area and knead the dough for 10 seconds, leave for 10 minutes, then repeat twice more at 10-minute intervals.

Return the dough to the bowl and leave for an hour.

Divide the dough into sixteen, roll into balls and place on a nonstick paper-lined tray.

Cover with oiled clingfilm and leave for an hour and a half to rise

Brush with beaten egg and bake at 200C (gas mark 6) for 25 minutes.

Tap to check they are cooked and then leave on a wire rack to cool.

Verdict: It’s all about letting them sit and rise and do their thing so that when you do come to eat them they are soft and fluffy and light and airy AND they have onion in. Delicious.

Drink: Water of London

Entertainment: A quick rendition of ‘My old man’s a dustman’ and then back to work.

The recipe below is very tasty … but does it show enough cookery skills …?

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 20 – 30 minutes
Skill level: Easy
Recipe: Based on a recipe from Wa’Ro magazine

Ingredients

The quantities stated here are vague/non-existent – the balance of ingredients is entirely up to you so just use your imagination.

• mushrooms – halved or quartered depending on size – some
• garlic – thinly sliced – 1 clove per person
• spring greens (or other dark green cabbage such as Savoy) – shredded – some
• good bread – sliced – some
• Lincolnshire Poacher or strong Cheddar – grated – some
• milk – 1 tbsp per person
• grain mustard – 1 tsp per person
• olive oil – some
• s and p

Pre-heat the grill.

Heat a little oil in a large heavy-bottomed frying pan until very hot.

Add the mushrooms and garlic and cook for 5 minutes or so until softened and golden.

Remove from the pan and set aside (keeping warm).

Pour a little more oil in the pan and add the Spring Greens. Cook for another 5 minutes or so until softened.

Add the cooked mushrooms, taste, season and keep warm over a low heat.

Toast the bread on both sides.

In a bowl mix together the grated cheese, mustard and enough milk to bind.

Pile the mushroom mixture onto the toasts and then spoon over the cheese.

Place under a hot grill until the cheese is melted and bubbling.

Serve immediately.

Verdict: Garlic Mushrooms? Melted Cheese? There was never going to be any doubt that this would be anything other than very tasty. Makes a great weekend brunch/lunch/greedy snack.

Drink: Beetroot Juice.

Entertainment: Nemone on 6Music.

Freelance Writer Alex, Paediatrician Children’s Doctor Tim and NuDadDhruv fight it out in the final of MasterChef.

Preparation time: most of your life (4 1/2 hours)
Cooking time: 30 minutes
Skill level: medium
Makes: 24

Ingredients

Buns

• 1 sachet dried yeast
• luke warm water – 200ml
• strong white flour – 870g
• cold water – 230ml
• milk powder – 25g
• caster sugar – 100g
• sea salt ground fine – 15g
• butter – 85g
• egg – 1
• (mixed spice – 3-4 tsp)
• raisins – 100g
• dried apricots – 70g – chopped
• candied citrus peel – 80g – chopped

Piping paste for the crosses or sundry patterns

• plain white flour – 4 tbsp
• caster sugar – 1 tbsp
• cold water – 30-40ml

Glazes

pre-cooking

• egg yolk – 1
• milk – 1 tbsp

post-cooking

• sugar – 100g
• water – 50ml

Whisk together the yeast and the warm water to dissolve the yeast. Stir in 200g of the flour. Cover the bowl with cling film and leave in a warm place for 2 hours, until the the sponge has risen by a third and has lots of bubbles.

Add the remaining flour to the bubbly sponge along with the cold water, milk powder, sugar, salt, butter and egg (and mixed spice). Mix together for 8 minutes, or until you have a very soft dough – in a machine with a dough hook if you have one, if not then wooden spoon and hands will be just as good if a touch more messy. Then add the raisins, apricots and peel and combine for another minute.

Turn out onto a floured surface, knead for a minute and form a ball. Put back in the bowl and cover with cling film. Leave in a warm place for 45 minutes to an hour until doubled in size.

Back onto a floured surface press down to deflate. Divide into 24 pieces and form each into a ball.

Place the balls in nice rows on baking trays lined with non-stick baking parchment. Make sure the balls are close but not touching. Cover with a damp cloth and leave in a warm place for 45 minutes or until the buns have doubled in size and have joined together.

Meanwhile, pre-heat the oven to 250C (gas mark 9) and prepare the piping paste for the crosses (or sundry patterns). Mix the flour, sugar and water together and place in a piping bag (or use a freezer bag with a small corner snipped off). Then beat together the egg yolk and milk for the glaze.

Once your buns are bigger and touching each other then mark a cross (or sundry other pattern) in the top with a blunt knife. Brush egg glaze into the pattern and then pipe paste in the indent.

Pop the buns in the oven and upon closing the door reduce the temperature to 180C (gas mark 4). Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, until the buns are golden with a darkening. They will sound hollow when tapped.

Place on a wire rack. For the glaze, dissolve the sugar in the water, bring to a boil and then brush the glaze over the buns.

Eat far too many.

Verdict: Soft with a sticky crusty crust, lovely and fruity, a multi dimensional bun experience, yum.

Drink: tea

Entertainment: Jarvis Cocker being mellifluous on 6 Music.

Preparation time: 20 minutes plus 2 hours for rising
Cooking time: 12 – 15 minutes
Skill level: Easy
Makes: 8 rolls

Ingredients

• strong white flour – 250g
• butter – 2tbsp
• sugar – 2tbsp
• fast action dried yeast – ¾tsp
• 2 eggs beaten
• good quality plain dark chocolate – 50g
• milk – warmed – 3tbsp
• salt – ½tsp

Place the flour, sugar, yeast and salt in a large bowl and mix together.

Rub in the butter until the mixture resembles bread crumbs.

Add the beaten egg and enough of the warm milk to form a soft dough.

Knead the dough on a floured surface for 5 minutes or until the dough is smooth and springy.

Return to the bowl, cover with oiled cling film and set aside somewhere warm for an hour or until the dough has doubled in size.

Tip the dough onto a floured surface and knead for a short while.

Divide into 8 pieces and roll each piece into a ball.

Cut the chocolate into 8 chunks and push each piece into the centre of the rolls. Roll again to seal in the chocolate.

Place on an oiled baking sheet, loosely cover with oiled cling film and place somewhere warm for 40 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 200c (gas mark 6)

Remove the cling film (stupid) and bake for 12-15 minutes until the rolls are golden brown and sound hollow when tapped.

Place on a rack to cool.

Verdict: A light bread with a hidden chocolate treat which would make a great Easter alternative to the hot cross bun. I particularly liked these because they are not too sweet.

Drink: Goes well with a nice cup of tea.

Entertainment: The utterly pointless and unwatchable ‘Cecil B Demented’ on DVD. We endured this ‘darkly comic satire’ for a generous 20 minutes before lunging for the ‘stop’ button. If our remote had been equipped with an ‘erase’ button we would have pressed that too.

Preparation time: 30 minutes plus 2 hours rising time
Cooking time: 25-30 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 2 medium loaves

Ingredients

• strong white bread flour – 520g
• wholemeal flour – 320g
• sugar – 4 tsp
• cheddar cheese – grated – 200g
• parmesan cheese – grated – 75g
• brown ale (or alcohol-free Cobra), at room temperature – 450ml
• powdered milk – 50g
• dried yeast – 2 tsp
• salt – 1½ tsp
• mustard powder – 1½ tsp
• 2 free-range eggs, beaten
• fennel seeds – 2 tsp
• 1 free-range egg, white only, for glazing (optional)

Dissolve the sugar and yeast in the brown ale and set aside for a few minutes until a froth has developed.

In a large bowl mix together the flours, cheeses, milk and mustard powders, eggs, salt and fennel seeds. Add the beer mixture and mix to a dough with your hands.

Place on a floured surface and knead for 20 minutes (yes, sorry, 20 minutes) until the dough is smooth and elastic. Add warm water if the dough becomes too dry.

Divide in half and form 2 loaves. Place on an oiled baking tray and make diagonal slashes across the top.

Cover with lightly oiled cling film and set aside in a warm place for 2 hours or until doubled in size.

Pre-heat the oven to 200C/Gas 6.

Brush the loaves with the egg white and place in the oven for 20-30 minutes or until golden brown and hollow sounding when tapped.

Cool on wire racks.

Enjoy.

Verdict: A light yet substantial bread which as well as making superb sandwiches is also excellent toasted. If you are not fond of fennel, experiment with other flavourings.

Drink: If you used brown ale, finish it off. If you used alcohol-free Cobra, don’t.

Entertainment: A sneaky double viewing of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ (midway through 3rd season) whilst Blogger-D was in the kitchen making some rather time-consuming hazelnut biscuits.

Fortunately the deadly effects of white bread can be neutralised by a generous application of full-cream salted butter.

… and who eats ‘one and a half slices’ of bread anyway?

Preparation time: 15 minutes, plus 45 minutes to an hour to prove
Cooking time: 30 – 35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Makes: 1 large loaf

Ingredients

• strong white flour – 500g
• fast action yeast – 2½ tsp
• caster sugar – 1 tbsp
• salt – 1 tsp
• sunflower oil – 2 tbsp
• milk powder – 2 tbsp
• warm water – 300 ml

Mix the flour, milk powder, salt, sugar and yeast in a large bowl.

Add the oil and enough of the warm water to form a soft dough.

Knead well on a lightly floured surface for 10 minutes until the dough is smooth and elastic.

Put in an oiled (2lb) loaf tin, cover loosely with oiled cling film and leave somewhere warm for 45 minutes.

Remove the clingfilm and place in a preheated oven for about 30 minutes. The loaf should be lightly browned and sound hollow when tapped.

Turn out and leave on a wire rack to cool.

Verdict: A tasty everyday white loaf ideal for both sandwiching and toasting.

Drink: The perfect companion to a nice cup of tea.

Entertainment: Listening to Blogger-D playing ‘Band I found on MySpace or … Dickens character’. Actually ON the radio. Talking to Jon Holmes and everything.

Preparation time: 1 hour 40 minutes
Cooking time: 35 minutes
Skill level: easy

Ingredients

• potato – 200g
• sunflower oil – 1 tbsp
• onion – 150g – finely chopped
• cumin seeds – 2 tsp – crushed
• fennel seeds – 2 tsp – crushed
• turmeric – 1 tsp
• paprika – 1 tsp
• butter – 2 tbsp
• strong white flour – 475g
• caster sugar – 2 tsp
• salt – 2 tsp
• dried yeast – 1 3/4 tsp
• water – 200 ml

Boil the potato for 15 minutes or until tender. While it boils, heat the oil in a frying pan and gently fry the onion until it is soft and golden. Then add the spices and cook for a minute.

Drain the potato and mash finely with the butter. Set aside to cool a little.

Put the flour in a large bowl and stir in the sugar salt and yeast. Add the mashed potato and the spiced onions. Mix together with water to make a soft dough.

Knead on a lightly floured surface for 5 minutes until you have a smooth and elastic dough. Return the dough to the bowl, cover with oiled clingfilm and leave in a warm place to rise for an hour or until doubled in size.

Once doubled, tip onto a floured surface and knead again. Then press into a greased loaf tin and cover again with clingfilm. Leave for a further 30 minutes, or until the dough has reached the top of the tin.

Remove clingfilm and bake at 200C (gas mark 6) for 35 minutes until the bread is golden and sounds hollow when tapped.

Verdict: So soft and light and spicy, brilliant, goes with spicy soup but equally makes rather a good toast with a bit of oil drizzled on top. Or just on its own with a dollop of mayo.

Drink: Variously tea, coffee, water.

Entertainment: Well it was Saturday afternoon and Jon Holmes on BBC 6Music was coincidentally discussing the new range of Walkers crisps and inviting suggestions for disgusting flavoured crisps. Yumblog were proud to have three suggestions read out, namely: sarcasm and vitriol, toejam and basil, and starfish and chocolate. We have fun at Yumblog towers.

Preparation time: 1 hour plus resting time overnight/8 hours
Cooking time: 10 minutes x 2
Skill level: easy, though multi-tiered

Ingredients

• strong white flour – 350g
• bicarbonate of soda – 1 tsp
• salt – ½ tsp
• sunflower oil – 50ml
• milk and water – 250ml (half n half)

For the dhal

• red lentils – 150g
• clove of garlic – 1 – crushed
• turmeric – 1 tsp
• ground coriander – 2 tsp
• ground cumin – 3 tsp
• salt – ½ tsp

First the dough. Mix the flour, bicarb and salt in a bowl, then add the oil and milk. Stir together, cover and leave overnight at room temperature.

An hour or so before you want to eat, boil the lentils and garlic in water for 10 minutes, then drain in a sieve. Turn on to a sheet of muslin or a tea towel, wring out excess water. Tip the lentils in to a bowl and stir in the spices and salt. Leave to one side until cold.

The almost there stage. Dust your hands and the worksurface with an abundance of flour and then cut the dough into 50g pieces. Flatten each piece with the palm of your hand. Take a spoonful of lentils (20g or so) and squeeze into a ball, then place in the middle of a piece of dough and fold the dough around it, pasty-like. Dab the edges with water and pinch to seal. Pat the dough into a circular shape and flatten with your hands, then roll till thin, making sure that the lentil contents are spread as evenly and widely as possible. Heat to very hot a large frying pan, lay in a flatbread and cook for a minute each side, or until colouring. Set aside, cover with foil, and repeat to fade.

Verdict: It has a nice bite, quite dry, hence the need for sauces, but works very well with lemon dhal, especially when wrapped round a big dollop thereof.

Drink: An interesting beer purchased in West Yorkshire from a small local brewery. Bizarrely it tasted far nicer when served at home than when drunk in a pub down the road from the brewery.

Entertainment: Dara O’Briain, new comedy hero, not the man who reads a script and says um a lot on Mock the Week, but the incredibly funny bloke who appeared at the atheist Christmas show at the Hammersmith Apollo in December and whose dvd we subsequently rented and enjoyed.

Preparation time: all day
Cooking time: 40 – 45 minutes
Skill level: medium/tricky
Makes: 2 loaves

Ingredients

For the loaf:

• plain white flour – 250g
• strong white flour – 325g
• fast action yeast – 1 sachet
• warm milk (20C) – 250ml
• cold milk – 100ml
• caster sugar – 1 ½ tbsp
• unsalted butter – 40g
• fine sea salt – 10g

For the crust:

• semolina – 300g
• warm water – 300ml
• fast action yeast – 1 sachet
• sunflower oil – 40ml
• caster sugar – 40g

In a large bowl, mix together the yeast and warm milk until the yeast has dissolved. Stir in the plain flour, cover with cling film and set aside in a warm place for two hours. At this stage the sponge should have risen by at least a third and have lots of bubbles.

Next add the strong flour, cold milk, sugar and salt and mix to a dough. Rub in the butter with your fingertips.

Turn out onto a floured surface and knead for 10 minutes.

Return to the bowl, cover with cling film and set aside in a warm place for 45 minutes to an hour.

Meanwhile, make the crust by mixing together the warm water and yeast in a large bowl and then adding all the other ingredients to form a smooth batter.

Cover and set aside for 2 – 2½ hours.

Divide the dough into two and form each piece into a bâton. Place 10cm apart on a baking tray lined with non-stick baking parchment. Cover loosely with cling film and place somewhere warm for 1½ – 2 hours, or until doubled in size.

Preheat the oven to 200C (gas 6).

Uncover the loaves and prick at three points along the centre with a skewer to release any trapped gas. Next spread the semolina crust batter evenly over the loaves with your hands.

Bake in the centre of the oven for 15 minutes, lower the temperature to 175C and bake for a further 25-30 minutes, or until the surface has cracked. The loaves should sound hallow when tapped on the base.

Leave to cool on a rack.

Trim off any excess crust from the bottom edge using scissors.

Verdict: A sweet soft loaf with a crisp golden crust.

Drink: After baking, went for a stroll to ‘The Crown‘ on Victoria Park. An excellent (gastro) pub with good beers and ales, scandalously expensive crisps and a trendy (without being toss) cow print interior. A new drinking hole to add to our list of decent East End boozers.

Entertainment: The entire Saturday’s output of 6music.