In the unlikely event you come across a bunch of white asparagus in your local Spasda Superstore, don’t be tempted to give it a try as let us assure you it is an indifferent and woody subordinate to the familiar and far superior green variety (Grünspargel).

At the time of writing we are basking in the glory of the English asparagus season*, so in order to make the most of this short eight week period, we intend to eat it at every conceivable opportunity. This potato and asparagus frittata provided one such opportunity.

*More reason to celebrate than any stupid fucking royal wedding.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 25-35 minutes
Skill level: easy
Serves: 2** – 4

Ingredients

• potatoes – peeled and cut into 1cm cubes – 400g
• 1 onion – finely sliced
• 6 free range eggs – beaten
• bunch of asparagus (woody ends snapped off) – cut into 3cm lengths – about 400g
• parmigiano reggiano – grated – a generous 30g
• olive oil – 2 tbsp
• fresh parsley – finely chopped – 2 generous tbsp
• s and p

Find yourself a 9″ skillet or non-stick, ovenproof frying pan.

Pour in the oil and place over a low heat.

Add the potatoes and onion and season well.

Cover with a lid and cook for about 15 minutes (stirring occasionally) until the potatoes are cooked through.

Preheat the grill to high.

Add the asparagus to the potatoes, cover again and cook for about five more minutes until the asparagus is cooked but still has a slight crunch.

Taste and season again if necessary.

Season the beaten eggs and pour into the frying pan. Chuck in the pasrley too.

Cook for a further 5 minutes.

Scatter with the parmigiano reggiano and place under the grill for 3–4 minutes, until set and golden.

Turn out onto a serving plate and sprinkle with a little more parmigiano reggiano.

Serve warm or cold with a hearty salad and good crusty bread (and possibly more asparagus).

Lechera – condensed milk, a shot of espresso and milk foam.

Verdict: Deeeeeeeeelicious. A tasty, substantial and easy midweek meal. Couldn’t recommend it highly enough. **We had plenty left over for a packed lunch the following day.

Drink: Our only day of temperance this week.

Entertainment: An episode from the 4th(?) series of ‘Homicide: Life on the Street’. The one featuring an evil Frodo Baggins.

Yumblog Junior settles in nicely to Berlin café society

A tofu steak gently cradles a piece of asparagus in its pepper hand

Preparation time: 10 minutes plus 30 minutes drying tofu
Cooking time: 10-15 minutes
Skill level: Easy

Ingredients

• fresh tofu – 200g
• selection of vegetables such as courgette, red/yellow pepper, asparagus, oyster mushrooms, spring onions, tomatoes, etc.
• garlic – 3 cloves – crushed
• plain flour
• vegetable oil
• s & p

Start by wrapping the tofu in kitchen paper and placing in a sieve for 30 minutes to remove the excess moisture.

Prepare the vegetables – cut courgettes into fairly thick slices, cut asparagus and spring onions in half, cut peppers in strips, etc.

Heat some oil in a wok, add half the garlic and fry for a few seconds. Add all the vegetables and fry quickly over a high heat until just tender. Put aside and keep warm.

Cut the tofu into four steaks, rub with the remaining garlic and roll in seasoned flour.

Heat some oil in a heavy-bottomed frying pan and add the tofu. Fry for a few minutes until the underside is golden, turn over and repeat.

At the last moment return the wok to a high heat and quickly bring the vegetables up to temperature.

Spoon out the vegetables and top with the steaks.

Serve with soy sauce, wasabi paste and/or pickled ginger.

Verdict: Like I said, you’d think a slab of fried tofu with very little done to it would be as bland as the Radio 2 play list, but you’d be wrong. It is in fact succulent and tasty and a perfect partner to the crunchy vegetables.

Drink: Beer before, wine during.

Entertainment: An episode or two of the preposterous but highly addictive first series of ’24′.

Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 40 minutes
Skill level: Easy

Ingredients

• barley – 200g
• 6-10 spears asparagus – depending on girth
• 2 or 3 globe artichokes
• juice of 2 lemons
• 2 large handfuls of broad beans – fresh or frozen
• 1 medium onion
• 1 fennel
• 2 stalks celery
• 2 small turnips
• olive oil – 3 tbsp
• tomato puree – 1 tbsp
• stock – chicken or vegetable, or if you’re feeling particularly energetic, a quick asparagus stock (detailed below)
• a handful of leaves – greens, spinach, or wild garlic
• large tbsp of butter
• parmesan – 50g – finely grated

Firstly soak the barley in cold water for two hours. Rinse and drain thoroughly before use. Then, take the wooden ends off the asparagus, cut the stalks into one inch long pieces and put to one side. If you wish to make the asparagus stock mentioned above, put the trimmed bits in a litre of water, boil lightly for half an hour and reserve until needed.

Next, cook the artichokes with the lemon juice and just enough water to cover them. Once tender, drain upside down to get rid of all water. When cooled, remove the leaves and quarter the hearts. Set aside. Then pod and blanch the broad beans and set these aside too.

Dice the onion, fennel, celery and turnips. Add to a large pan with the oil and some salt and heat gently until tender. Then add the barley and stir in thoroughly, followed by the tomato puree and then sufficient stock to just cover everything. Simmer until the stock is almost absorbed and then add the remaining vegetables and the rest of the stock. Once the stock is absorbed check the barley and if it is now tender enough to eat, remove the pan from the heat. Wilt the green leaves in the pan and stir in the butter and the parmesan. Cover and leave to rest for a few minutes. Finally, check the seasoning and serve in big bowls.

Verdict: This dish really is super tasty. All the vegetables retain their flavours and the barley is a fantastic alternative to rice or pulses. Obviously the addition of butter and cheese at the end does a little to help the fabulousness but really it is an all round flavoursome dish and if there are just two of you it can last at least a couple of meals – depending on your levels of greed.

Drink: Red wine

Entertainment: 12:00-01:00 from series one of 24 as neither blogger has seen the first series. However, blogger D has seen subsequent series which means that certain elements of series one are not exactly going to be a surprise. Blogger D will have to put on her best poker face. It is extremely addictive. All 40 minutes of it. The series should really be called 16. I did the math.

And here be a short film about asparagus.

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes
Skill level: Easy
Serves: 2

Ingredients

• asparagus – 1 large bunch
• spaghetti – 225g
• garlic – 3 cloves – finely chopped
• 2 red chilli – deseeded and finely chopped
• fresh basil – big handful – finely chopped
• fresh parsley – big handful – finely chopped
• olive oil – healthy slug – about 6tbsp
• s & p
• parmesan
• lemon – 2 wedges

Start by cutting off the heads of the asparagus to a length of about 8cm. Cut the stalks in half along their length (you may not to have to do this if the stalks are thin)

Plunge the spaghetti into a large pan of salted boiling water and cook until al dente.

Meanwhile heat the oil in a large heavy-bottomed frying pan and add the asparagus. After 5 minutes add the garlic and chilli and continue to fry until the asparagus is soft and slightly charred. Season with salt and pepper.

Drain the pasta.

Throw the herbs in with the asparagus and stir.

Serve up the spaghetti and place the asparagus on top, pouring over any remaining oil.

Add some Parmesan shavings and a twist of lemon.

Verdict: This makes a quick mid-week treat. Add more chilli if you have the taste for something hotter.

Drink: White.

Entertainment: The third and final episode of ‘A Cook’s Tour of Spain‘. What can I say? On the plus side Tommi was very enthusiastic, cooked some delicious food, and didn’t shy away from showing the death and butchering of the animals she ate.

On the negative side, this was yet another piece of heavily formatted TV:

• Tommi cooks a local dish (with a twist) for the locals and anxiously wonders if they are going to like it – they always do.
• Tommi cooks something in her kitchen, tastes it, and eulogises about how the Spanish like to take quality ingredients, pack them with flavour, and cook them very simply.
• Guy shoots a woodland creature ‘through the heart’, and Tommi cooks it up with a side order of foraged vegetation.
• etc

Most annoying is the use of the Jamie Oliver technique of not looking directly at the camera, but instead talking to an invisible person who is standing somewhere to your right. I assume this style of presenting is meant to look fresh, modern and informal, but unfortunately it ends up making the presenter look like they are incapable of eye contact. A bit autistic in fact. Cooking with Rain Man.

And boy, is Tommi posh?

Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 30 – 40 minutes
Skill level: Easy
Serves: 2 – 4

Ingredients

• asparagus – 1 large bunch
• 1 medium onion – thinly sliced
• 1 small potato – thinly sliced
• spinach – 75g
• butter – 40g
• vegetable stock – 1/2 litre
• s & p
• double cream – 50ml (optional)

Start by cutting the tops off the asparagus to a length of about 8cm and put aside.

Chop up the remaining stalks.

Melt the butter in a large pan, add the onion and potato and gently cook until softened. Add the asparagus stalks and stock, bring to the boil and simmer for about 15 minutes until the stalks are tender.
Meanwhile blanch the asparagus tips in salted boiling water for 3 minutes, drain and refresh in cold water.

Take the soup off the heat, add the spinach and liquidise.

Briefly fry the asparagus tips in butter.

When ready to eat, heat the soup, season and add the cream (if using).

Ladle into a dish and top with the asparagus tips.

Verdict: It has to be said the asparagus flavour is subtle, however it is still a tasty soup.

Drink: Red.

Entertainment: The climactic end to series 1 of Blakes 7. That’s exciting enough, but this DVD also has what is probably one of best extras of all time. Lesley Judd making a teleport bracelet on Blue Peter. Seems all you need is some cardboard, an orange squash bottle, brown paint, tin foil and a button.