The second issue of Yumie Magazine is out now

Your second helping of Yumie Magazine is now available from just the one outlet, making it reasonably difficult to get hold of but all the more exclusive for it, after all exclusivity is what Yumie is all about. It isn’t? Oh. Anyway this edition is full to the brim with meaty nourishment to keep your coat lovely and shiny. Yumie’s gone down the pig farm and picked the scraps out of the bin just for you! What is more we’ve taken the best cuts of non-specific red meat from the Iceland own brand range and stuck them in a microwave with some barbecue sauce, just for you!

We’ve wheeled out the one-trick pony that is the one-pot dish and fancied it up with a bit of garlic, ooh, get us! And for those of you out there who choose to eschew the pleasures of the flesh, there’s something very special for you in the shape of rarely-used ingredients such as butternut squash and goat’s cheese. And there’s a pasta dish an all.

Once again Yumie has been blatantly plagiarised by an un-named magazine

And for all you globetrotters out there, and indeed those of you who never shift your huge arses off the sofa unless beckoned to by the ping of the microwave, we have tales from yonder and, if I may, afar. In entirely selfless fashion, we have gone to Dubai to eat the food of the ill-treated immigrant workers, we’ve learnt ten-ways with a bowl of rice from starving families in Burma and there’s an hilarious incident involving the Vatican’s very own mozzarella buffalo, Peter, and some misplaced serviettes. Closer to home, we pop into a salt-of-the-earth café steeped in tradition that’s been serving black pudding and funny northern sheep bits for literally days.

All of this plus our flimsy cut-out-and-lose menus of patronising simplicity. The result is an unmissable magazine crammed full of adverts to see you through until May.

Are you still sitting there? Get in your 4×4 right now and head for that WHSmith 20 miles away and pick up your copy today.

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